How do you stay motivated and not give up?

[Justice For All]

I'm just curious because about a week ago I started doing this online school-like program where it has school problems from grades K-12 that you can practice if you want to get back into school. I dropped out my first day of high-school, and skipped pretty much half of middle school, so some of the (math problems to be specific) are hard for me to get the hang of.

I'm trying my hardest to keep pushing but it's just so overwhelmingly frustrating and demotivating when I get multiple questions wrong, especially when I'm "confident" that I'm going to get them right... It just completely throws off my positive outlook and makes me want to stop because I know I'm going to just keep on getting the questions wrong, so what's the point?

 

[GhostSnyper]

Well, you're going to have to get over the fact that it takes work to be successful at anything. You have to find motivation that is right for you. No two people have the same motivations or reasons for the things they do. Some do things because they have latent talent and are bored. Most of us have a type of goal in mind.... What do YOU want to do? WHERE do you want to be in a year...5 years... 10 years?

I have a long history of depression issues that started with my father chose drugs over his own kids. it crushed me and it caused me to spend years in an angry, confused fit. I threw away everything I had going for me... I lost a scholarship to anywhere I wanted to go, I ruined my relationship with the parent who actually cared about my existence, and I did bare-minimum to get by until my early 20s. I had a (fortunately) short-lived suicidal bout that inevitably triggered the mindset that drives my life. I wallowed in my own misery until I just got so mad at myself. My motivation came from anger. I use anger directed at myself to drive me to new heights. If I'm not putting in 100% I'll get really hard on myself. I don't let myself think about failure as an option... It's just a setback. As a human we're Ducking amazing because the only limits we have are the ones we place on ourselves. My vision 5 years from now is to own a house and to have the funds to fuel my car hobby. I know what it's going to take to get there, so I put 100% of what I have into it.

Learning is difficult because you're not seeing the reward, you're just seeing the work. Just like any other sport, hobby, or recreation, you won't be good at it without practice. Don't set your pace too fast for your understanding. Once you don't have to think about the formulas or have to stop to remember the word, move on. Find what gets you relaxed and focused! Some like to study in low light situations, some like to have a soothing bath before studying to get the stress out. Being raised playing music, it puts me in a focused mood.


Disregarding my sob story... Figure out why you want to do what you're doing. If you are doing it just because you think you should, you're not going to succeed. Similar to programming or mechanics or sports, if you don't have something you want, the motivation won't stick. Get a direction, then do a thing.

 

[HeavenlyGifted]

At the moment, I get intimidated over my girlfriend's friends, who has the wild times of their lives, but at the same time they earn it from their grinds on work.

I made this intimidation as a way for me to change more and achieve more.

 

[Mucski]

Watch Shia Lebouf do the "Just Do it" instant motivation... no not really. I'm lazy and ... lazy

 

[Justice For All]

At the moment, I get intimidated over my girlfriend's friends, who has the wild times of their lives, but at the same time they earn it from their grinds on work.

I made this intimidation as a way for me to change more and achieve more.

What exactly do you mean by "intimidation" though?

Because there is good motivation and bad motivation, if that makes sense lol

 

[denisfrs]

Sometimes is hard to find motivation, this image always keep me up

 

[HeavenlyGifted]

What exactly do you mean by "intimidation" though?

Because there is good motivation and bad motivation, if that makes sense lol

I'm not exactly sure the complete connotation between those motivations.

But I would consider this as a a bad motivation, mainly because how much I achieve and how the way I lived life, shouldn't be something to be compared over another person.

I think this is how crab mentality would start off, and as much as possible, I'm trying not to be this kind of person, but it does keep me going though pressures.

 

[Justice For All]

Sometimes is hard to find motivation, this image always keep me up

Great motivational piece right there!

I'm not exactly sure the complete connotation between those motivations.

But I would consider this as a a bad motivation, mainly because how much I achieve and how the way I lived life, shouldn't be something to be compared over another person.

I think this is how crab mentality would start off, and as much as possible, I'm trying not to be this kind of person, but it does keep me going though pressures.

With "bad motivation" you have to be careful, though! As the motivation may push you in the wrong direction. If that makes sense.

 

[Bradley]

I am usually kept motivated by a nice sensation of music with video games which require intense competitive actions or just plainly chilling and chatting to my friends most of the time. Considering the hard competitive matches tend to take care of my stress or even hard times and once I'm done using it all up I go out or just check out ragezone ect..

 

[s-p-n]

I agree with @GhostSnyper

It's hard for me to stay motivated too. I set goals.. Well I set big goals. I fall short on setting enough short goals in between those big goals. But I'll try to help.

There's a reason you're setting small goals. That is, you're setting goals to learn the schooling you missed out on earlier in life. But why? Anyway, you know why. The important part is to not lose sight on the "why?" Keep setting smaller and smaller goals. Set alarms on your phone to stay on schedule.

I'm doing well setting an alarm to wake up in the morning. I give myself time to take the dog out, have a cup of coffee, take a shower, relax a minute or two. Then I set an alarm to exercise about 30 minutes after waking up. I then set an alarm to eat breakfast 15 minutes after exercising. 30 minutes after that, I begin working on my project. I give myself 4 hours on my days off of work to work on my projects. After that, I take my dog to the dog park, or on a walk along the river, or whatever- something for my dog. And I eat lunch and enjoy my day off after that. (Around 1pm at this point, a pretty good day off with plenty of time to enjoy it).

Doing this allows you to create a habit. Habits are very powerful, and you should use habits as tools to help you- good habits. You can use this strategy to break bad habits, too- such as sleeping in, procrastinating, and playing video games while feeling guilty for not doing what you think you should be doing. It's not about motivation or will-power so much as it's about breaking bad habits. And it's not so much about breaking bad habits as it is about making new good habits.

Right? Stay positive

Playing video games (or whatever you're doing instead of working on math) isn't a problem. Working on math is the solution, though. So do that. Set a time you will do that. If you don't do it, well.. think about "why?", and then do it... For 4 hours, or whatever you decide to set the time-span to. I don't like being in a situation where I regret having fun, but it happens.. And I think it's because I regret neglecting my long-term goals while I'm having fun.. I hate that feeling. I hope my experience can help you.

I can tell you that as long as I spend the amount of time I require myself to spend on my projects, I feel guilt-free later in the day while having fun. And it doesn't matter if I had a productive day or a.. not so.. productive day. I still feel fulfilled. You should feel fulfilled even when you have bad days, too- as long as you did apply yourself for a set period of time. Feeling fulfilled should keep you motivated, I suppose. So try to make yourself feel fulfilled whether you do good or bad. Everyone has good days and bad days.

 

[Negata]

I can tell you that as long as I spend the amount of time I require myself to spend on my projects, I feel guilt-free later in the day while having fun. And it doesn't matter if I had a productive day or a.. not so.. productive day. I still feel fulfilled. You should feel fulfilled even when you have bad days, too- as long as you did apply yourself for a set period of time. Feeling fulfilled should keep you motivated, I suppose. So try to make yourself feel fulfilled whether you do good or bad. Everyone has good days and bad days.

I agree with this. Of course it's discouraging when there's no visible progress but whenever you've spent the time on a task you should congratulate yourself for a job well done and realize you've earned your pleasures for the rest of the day regardless of how productive it felt. In the very least you just spent time enforcing your perseverance, and very often with learning there are actually lots of small gains here and there that you're just not able to see immediately.

By the way, I recently read a book about will power. One related study found that setting long term goals had no significant effect on exam results whereas setting goals for a step at a time both seemed to improve the students' results and let them actually spend less time on studying over the course. So while it's important to set long term goals so that you know where you're headed, it's even more important to turn them into smaller steps to keep your motivation up.

On another note about the overall theme of the book, will power is something that is reserved, used, depleted and recharged. So if you know you're against a task where you may have trouble keeping your focus, try to arrange the rest of the day so that you're free of temptations. For example if you're also trying to control your consumption of sweets, make sure you haven't left any lying around in your apartment so that you won't have to spend your will power reserves on fighting the temptation because it will leave you with less for things that matter.

 

[exclamatio]

Keep reminding yourself why you are doing something. I find motivation isn't consistent, but you can manage it. When you focus on why you want something, what it means to you, it's much easier to feel something, emotion and motion are linked!

Need motion? Listen to music before going for a walk or run. Hit the gym after listening to some good tunes and you move better!
Need to change your emotion? Go for a walk or run! Hit the gym and those endorphines and blood flow will make you feel better!

Like Neggy said though, a large end goal isn't always motivating on it's own. Doing repetitive tasks that don't seem rewarding on their own doesn't help when you are looking four years into the future. The goal seems so far away, and you can't see any progress, so why would you feel motivated?

Try it this way instead.

What's your reason for doing this?
How will your life improve or your opportunities grow when you succeed?

Set a daily goal that isnt based on a test result. Something like spend 60 minutes learning about XYZ. Or attempt 50 questions per day. Set a minimum goal that you are going to do, every day. Be realistic, the point is for your daily to be relevant and achievable.

Now set another goal that is based on test results. In 3 weeks I will pass the test.

If you pass, you move your goal. In 3 weeks I will pass the next test, and this time I will only cry a little bit.

If you don't pass, you step up your daily goals! I will actually do 60 minutes learning per day, and not be distracted by cats on youtube at the same time.

Hitting your daily goals keeps you on track, but it will also feel good! This wil help keep you feeling motivated, and it will most importantly build a habit! Because habits are what gets poop done.

 

[Justice For All]

I agree with @GhostSnyper

It's hard for me to stay motivated too. I set goals.. Well I set big goals. I fall short on setting enough short goals in between those big goals. But I'll try to help.

There's a reason you're setting small goals. That is, you're setting goals to learn the schooling you missed out on earlier in life. But why? Anyway, you know why. The important part is to not lose sight on the "why?" Keep setting smaller and smaller goals. Set alarms on your phone to stay on schedule.

I'm doing well setting an alarm to wake up in the morning. I give myself time to take the dog out, have a cup of coffee, take a shower, relax a minute or two. Then I set an alarm to exercise about 30 minutes after waking up. I then set an alarm to eat breakfast 15 minutes after exercising. 30 minutes after that, I begin working on my project. I give myself 4 hours on my days off of work to work on my projects. After that, I take my dog to the dog park, or on a walk along the river, or whatever- something for my dog. And I eat lunch and enjoy my day off after that. (Around 1pm at this point, a pretty good day off with plenty of time to enjoy it).

Doing this allows you to create a habit. Habits are very powerful, and you should use habits as tools to help you- good habits. You can use this strategy to break bad habits, too- such as sleeping in, procrastinating, and playing video games while feeling guilty for not doing what you think you should be doing. It's not about motivation or will-power so much as it's about breaking bad habits. And it's not so much about breaking bad habits as it is about making new good habits.

Right? Stay positive

Playing video games (or whatever you're doing instead of working on math) isn't a problem. Working on math is the solution, though. So do that. Set a time you will do that. If you don't do it, well.. think about "why?", and then do it... For 4 hours, or whatever you decide to set the time-span to. I don't like being in a situation where I regret having fun, but it happens.. And I think it's because I regret neglecting my long-term goals while I'm having fun.. I hate that feeling. I hope my experience can help you.

I can tell you that as long as I spend the amount of time I require myself to spend on my projects, I feel guilt-free later in the day while having fun. And it doesn't matter if I had a productive day or a.. not so.. productive day. I still feel fulfilled. You should feel fulfilled even when you have bad days, too- as long as you did apply yourself for a set period of time. Feeling fulfilled should keep you motivated, I suppose. So try to make yourself feel fulfilled whether you do good or bad. Everyone has good days and bad days.

After reading your post, I actually decided to make myself a schedule. I've read too in quite a few places that making a schedule can improve many things ranging from your motivation to your concentration. So, hopefully designing a schedule will help, and rather than studying literally 8 hours straight or all day, I set up small 30-60 minute breaks in-between now and then.

As for habits - it's hard for me to make habits, as-well as break them... For instance, I used to smoke weed daily, smoked for 5+ years straight and wanted to quit many times but couldn't (I know this one is kind of different because we're dealing with something that's literally addictive, but same idea) until about 12 days ago. I don't know how I did, but I just up and quit cold turkey and haven't smoked ever since. I broke a bad habit, (it was bad for me, I understand smoking helps some people) but still I don't know how I did...

That's the thing is I don't know how to break habits like that, especially bad habits, things just have to click in order for it to happen I don't know how to make it happen myself I guess is the best way for me to explain it.

I agree with this. Of course it's discouraging when there's no visible progress but whenever you've spent the time on a task you should congratulate yourself for a job well done and realize you've earned your pleasures for the rest of the day regardless of how productive it felt. In the very least you just spent time enforcing your perseverance, and very often with learning there are actually lots of small gains here and there that you're just not able to see immediately.

By the way, I recently read a book about will power. One related study found that setting long term goals had no significant effect on exam results whereas setting goals for a step at a time both seemed to improve the students' results and let them actually spend less time on studying over the course. So while it's important to set long term goals so that you know where you're headed, it's even more important to turn them into smaller steps to keep your motivation up.

On another note about the overall theme of the book, will power is something that is reserved, used, depleted and recharged. So if you know you're against a task where you may have trouble keeping your focus, try to arrange the rest of the day so that you're free of temptations. For example if you're also trying to control your consumption of sweets, make sure you haven't left any lying around in your apartment so that you won't have to spend your will power reserves on fighting the temptation because it will leave you with less for things that matter.

Well that is nice to know because I set long-term goals for myself rather than short term.

I mean, I did set short term goals too, but they were more in relation to the long term goals, like tied in to them. But after reading what you said, I'm going to break down everything I want in life (well, not everything of-course, the main things) and write down small goals and steps I can take to get to where I want to be in life.

I think with me though, is I set such high, out-of-reach ridiculous goals (like becoming an astronaut or fighter jet pilot in the Air Force) that I just instantly think to myself, "oh that's ridiculous and way out of your reach that'll never happen so why even bother?" and then I just get completely demotivated and discouraged and give up...

As for will power, I think that is also something that I lack... I've never really had that much will power now that I think about it. I mean, I've had willpower to stop myself from doing harmful or "wrong" things, but I've never had the will power to, on the opposite end of that previous statement, do things that are beneficial and "right".

Keep reminding yourself why you are doing something. I find motivation isn't consistent, but you can manage it. When you focus on why you want something, what it means to you, it's much easier to feel something, emotion and motion are linked!

Need motion? Listen to music before going for a walk or run. Hit the gym after listening to some good tunes and you move better!
Need to change your emotion? Go for a walk or run! Hit the gym and those endorphines and blood flow will make you feel better!

Like Neggy said though, a large end goal isn't always motivating on it's own. Doing repetitive tasks that don't seem rewarding on their own doesn't help when you are looking four years into the future. The goal seems so far away, and you can't see any progress, so why would you feel motivated?

Try it this way instead.

What's your reason for doing this?
How will your life improve or your opportunities grow when you succeed?

Set a daily goal that isnt based on a test result. Something like spend 60 minutes learning about XYZ. Or attempt 50 questions per day. Set a minimum goal that you are going to do, every day. Be realistic, the point is for your daily to be relevant and achievable.

Now set another goal that is based on test results. In 3 weeks I will pass the test.

If you pass, you move your goal. In 3 weeks I will pass the next test, and this time I will only cry a little bit.

If you don't pass, you step up your daily goals! I will actually do 60 minutes learning per day, and not be distracted by cats on youtube at the same time.

Hitting your daily goals keeps you on track, but it will also feel good! This wil help keep you feeling motivated, and it will most importantly build a habit! Because habits are what gets poop done.

That is so true! Especially for me - motivation not being consistent. I thought I was just bi-polar (I mean, I'm pretty sure I am still bi-polar but that aside) or something but I find my motivation will come in waves. One day I'll feel all gung-ho and ready to study and work all day, then the next I'll be completely drained and not feel like doing anything, I just think like "what's the point? I'm just going to fail so why even try?" I guess I just have to do what you said and try to keep on focusing on what I want in the end.

I never thought about the endorphin aspect of it, though, that is a great point and I actually might start doing that too. Instead of playing a game for 30 minutes during on of my breaks in my schedule, I'll put on some music that I like and go take a quick walk around the block and get my blood pumping rather than sitting inside all day. I know you know a lot about this with your martial arts :

After reading your post now, I'm going to actually add some goals to my schedule and link them to each study session, or each break session; like for instance what you said I'll set a goal of answering a minimum of 50 questions on a practice test, and if I can manage that, then I won't feel discouraged in the end as I can say that I reached one of my goals!

These were all great posts and very motivating indeed. I'm taking a small break for a few days now, since I've been doing school for 12 days straight, all day everyday, but when I get back into it next week I'm going to start breaking in my new schedule and following some of the things that you guys have said. I have bookmarked this thread and will use it as reference :

Thanks guys

 

[Negata]

As for will power, I think that is also something that I lack... I've never really had that much will power now that I think about it. I mean, I've had willpower to stop myself from doing harmful or "wrong" things, but I've never had the will power to, on the opposite end of that previous statement, do things that are beneficial and "right".

Don't worry, that probably rings true for most people. Managing it is another skill too that we all need to get better at.

 

[SKNeoDio]

Females, most of the time. More specifically: love <3

The rest of the time I just don't shoot myself in the head because I don't want to give my family such dreadful grief.

Now seriously and honestly, I motivate myself by helping other people, any possible way that I can. That makes other people happy, which makes me happy, and helps me keep going, gives me strength to get out of bed each day.

Drugs and alcohol also help.


Sidenote: 34yo+OCD+depression+anxiety+insomnia

 

[Justice For All]

I keep getting failing scores, or barely passing scores on GED pretests online... Should I just give up?

I mean, no matter how hard I try I just keep getting bad scores. I’ve been studying for like half a month now and I haven’t seen any improvement at all… It’s so discouraging and I feel like why should I even bother as I’m never going to improve…

 

[GhostSnyper]

Remember that you're studying for a test that is a culmination of 4 years of education... No matter what, if you beat that pace, your doing rather well

 

[SKNeoDio]

Justice For All , if you keep thinking like that, then you surely won't go anywhere.

Half a month, with +1 week since you've wrote that post, is nearly nothing if your very own mind is blocking you along with your fear of failure.

Think positive, my friend, it is better to die trying than to never have tried. I'm not sure if this applies to you, but even if you fail in everything, you can try again next year. Or maybe you will fail some tests and pass others - that is already halfway done! Just do your best, and forget the rest!

No one would have ever imagined that Einstein would become what he became, yet, he's now part of History; thus, immortal.

Clean your mind, relax, and focus on giving your best, regardless of the result. If you're studying while being nervous or unwell, then most of what you study/read/see won't really get stuck in your mind...

And there are some mind tricks you can always use, like recording everything you need to know/study, and constantly hearing it instead of reading it, even during your sleep. Actually, especially during your sleep, because, as you probably know, while you sleep, your subconscious is fully active, and the same way 'it' transmits information to your organism - like making you dream and fart while you sleep (lol) - 'it' also captures information.

This might seem silly, but I actually did this on my final year of Law because I was working part-time, and also suffered a huge personal loss. I recorded my notes of Constitutional Law 2 and Criminal Law 2 because those two were the 'monsters' that actually worried me. And I now regret not doing that before. So I started listening to my own voice through my mp3, whenever I could, at work, driving, at home, whenever and wherever I could, including falling asleep while listening to my own voice And when the time came, I passed both of them with a fair ease. It's been 11 years now since I graduated, but I remember reading my notes on the nights before both exams, and as I read my notes, I felt like the knowledge was coming out of my brain and that everything was already stuck in my mind... It was one of the most odd experiences I've ever felt in my whole life, and even during the exams, I actually felt relaxed and confident.

No matter how you feel, remember to always keep your hopes high, because if you convince yourself that you are going to fail, then that is halfway into a complete failure; but if you focus and convince yourself that you will succeed, then your chances of actually succeeding are much higher! It's just like sexual dysfunction, in some cases, the men who can't get it up, can't get it up because they're already convinced that they can't get it up, and because they fear they won't please their companion...So just relax, focus on the present moment, and let things happen.

Good luck man! You are one of the most bright individuals I've seen on these forums, and I'm not talking about the stuff you copy paste, I'm talking about the way you think, the way you rationalize certain myths and uncertain matters, you're a smart and intelligent guy, so just chill out and do what you gotta do! Don't let the fear of failure get to you, be strong and be persuasive to your own self.

"Great success is built on failure, frustration, even catastrophy"

 

[KarLi]

I do what i love to do, my passion and what drives me crazy and automatically to the direction where i am happy.
I am surrounded with people who lift me up and vice versa.
I am in touch with my family.
I try my best to stop bad habiting.
I get inspired and motivated by mastermind people who want to direct their lives in the positive direction.
Whatever happens i embrace it and i continue living the way i want.
Being persistent and consistent with things in life is super motivating thing and time by time it will be normal.
I try to sleep enough (7-9) hours (weekends 9-10 who knows)
I care about my health and nutrition, it helps me being motivated to inspire others and even my family.
Drink alot of water! hydrating gives super energy and u are then in a good state to do what ulove to
Stop breathing shallow and let a full oxygen get in my body, by doing that i i feel much mroe relaxed and open to do anything i want in life
Stay away from stressy situations, go out and do stuff, smile and the most important thing (meditate in Stillness by sitting everyday atleast for 5-10 minutes and clearing my thoughts)

Book recommendations: 'The Power of Now by eckhart tolle' because being present in your life is appreciating and loving life.

hope this helps <3

 

[s-p-n]

I keep getting failing scores, or barely passing scores on GED pretests online... Should I just give up?

I mean, no matter how hard I try I just keep getting bad scores. I’ve been studying for like half a month now and I haven’t seen any improvement at all… It’s so discouraging and I feel like why should I even bother as I’m never going to improve…

Are you still moving forward? What can I do to help?