(Oh.)
Lonely Island, Michael Bolton.
(Yeah.)
Together on the track, the boys are back.
[We return to sing a song together.]
The night starts now baby roll with us,
[Join us for this evenings entertainment]
Chickens snappin' at the neck when we're rollin' up.
[Women staring at us so hard their necks may break when we arrive.]
(Rollin' up.)
Blow through the doors ain't no holdin' up,
[We don't wait in line, just walk right in]
Black card at the bar like I give a fuck.
[We're card holding members, don't have to pay for drinks]
(Yeah!)
(Come on.)
Ladies shifty eyes when we walk into the set,
[On stage the women don't want to be seen watching, but can't help doing so]
Fuck the fellas lookin' jealous play the back and get wet.
[The guys behind us are green with envy which just makes us look better and turns the girls on more]
Three pounding in my waist,
[three girls pressing close on the dance floor]
shank in my sock,
[I have an erection]
you either get out,
[leave now]
get stuffed,
[go away]
or get shot.
[She'll turn you down cold and embarrassingly]
Yeah yeah!
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow,
A pirate so brave on the seven seas.
(What?)
A mystical quest on the isle of Tortuga,
Raven locks sway on oceans breeze.
[Black curly hair blowing in the ocean wind]
Yea that was kinda' weird, but we're back in the club.
Buyin' up the bar so the groupies show us love.
[our fans love us coz we're buying them drinks]
Kiera Knightly
Motherfucking ice man, I'm the top gunner,
[Shut up has-been, I'm the star here]
Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner.
[Like an automatic side arm I'm *very* sexy]
Jack Sparrow
Watch it girl coz I ain't your "Mr. Nice Guy",
[Listen Miss, I'm a bit of a scallywag]
More like the "meet ya, take you home and fuck you twice guy".
[I'm not waiting for invitations, I'm looking for lots of sex]
Yeah
All dressed up with nowhere to run,
[You're well turned out but I won't let you escape] (play on "all dressed up with nowhere to go", commonly said when you prepare for a party but get turned down at the last minuet)
And now I make you feel crazy with the...
Now back to the good part!
From the day he was born,
He yearned for adventure.
(Nooo)
Old Captain Jack
(yeah)
Giving them "what for""
[giving them a pasting]
He's the pauper of the surf
[unhealthy traveller of the waves]
The Jester of Tortuga
[court comedian and confidant]
(Oh God)
But is Davy Jones' Locker,
[Is a death & burial at sea]
What lies in store?
(Yea, we've seen the movie.)
[We saw the film.]
Throw your hands in the air and say hell yeah, come on!
[Surrender and give in to my charm, you know you want to]
(Captain Jack)
What!?
(Johnny Depp!)
No!
From the front to the back,
Say we count stacks. Come on!
[Everyone in the house knows we're rich and influential]
(Davey Jones)
Nope
(Giant Squid)
Wrong
Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up.
[Okay Michael, get with the plot and concentrate]
Roger that, let me try with another film.
(Wait)
Life is a box of chocolates,
And my name is Forest Gump.
(Not better)
Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed,
[I'm not very cleaver]
I give Jenny all my love.
(Come on)
Okay then I'm a Legal Aid,
Erin Brockovich is my name.
(Noo! God!)
Then you can call me Scarface,
Snorting mountains of cocaine.
(Close enough)
You cockroaches wan'na play rough?
[I look down on you, do you want to do this the hard way]
Okay, I'm reloaded!
This is the tale,
Of Tony Montanya.
Cubano Flame, with the Miami Nuts.
[IDK what that means]
Got a Basshead wife,
[My wife is highly addicted to Base Heroine]
But her womb is polluted.
[Err... not sure.]
This whole town's a pussy
[Everyone in this place is a coward]
Just waiting to get fucked!
[I'm going to beat them up]
Okay,
Turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile.
[It appears Michael Bolton is a adorant cinema fanatic]
(You complete me)
Yep, yeah, okay.