Lonely Island, Michael Bolton.
Together on the track, the boys are back. [We return to sing a song together.]
The night starts now baby roll with us, [Join us for this evenings entertainment]
Chickens snappin' at the neck when we're rollin' up. [Women staring at us so hard their necks may break when we arrive.]
Blow through the doors ain't no holdin' up, [We don't wait in line, just walk right in]
Black card at the bar like I give a fuck. [We're card holding members, don't have to pay for drinks]
Ladies shifty eyes when we walk into the set, [On stage the women don't want to be seen watching, but can't help doing so]
Fuck the fellas lookin' jealous play the back and get wet. [The guys behind us are green with envy which just makes us look better and turns the girls on more]
Three pounding in my waist, [three girls pressing close on the dance floor]
shank in my sock, [I have an erection]
you either get out, [leave now]
get stuffed, [go away]
or get shot. [She'll turn you down cold and embarrassingly]
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow,
A pirate so brave on the seven seas.
A mystical quest on the isle of Tortuga,
Raven locks sway on oceans breeze. [Black curly hair blowing in the ocean wind]
Yea that was kinda' weird, but we're back in the club.
Buyin' up the bar so the groupies show us love. [our fans love us coz we're buying them drinks]
Motherfucking ice man, I'm the top gunner, [Shut up has-been, I'm the star here]
Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner. [Like an automatic side arm I'm *very* sexy]
Watch it girl coz I ain't your "Mr. Nice Guy",
[Listen Miss, I'm a bit of a scallywag]
More like the "meet ya, take you home and fuck you twice guy". [I'm not waiting for invitations, I'm looking for lots of sex]
All dressed up with nowhere to run, [You're well turned out but I won't let you escape] (play on "all dressed up with nowhere to go", commonly said when you prepare for a party but get turned down at the last minuet)
And now I make you feel crazy with the...
Now back to the good part!
From the day he was born,
He yearned for adventure.
Old Captain Jack
Giving them "what for"" [giving them a pasting]
He's the pauper of the surf [unhealthy traveller of the waves]
The Jester of Tortuga [court comedian and confidant]
But is Davy Jones' Locker, [Is a death & burial at sea]
What lies in store?
(Yea, we've seen the movie.) [We saw the film.]
Throw your hands in the air and say hell yeah, come on! [Surrender and give in to my charm, you know you want to]
From the front to the back,
Say we count stacks. Come on! [Everyone in the house knows we're rich and influential]
Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up. [Okay Michael, get with the plot and concentrate]
Roger that, let me try with another film.
Life is a box of chocolates,
And my name is Forest Gump.
Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, [I'm not very cleaver]
I give Jenny all my love.
Okay then I'm a Legal Aid,
Erin Brockovich is my name.
Then you can call me Scarface,
Snorting mountains of cocaine.
You cockroaches wan'na play rough? [I look down on you, do you want to do this the hard way]
Okay, I'm reloaded!
This is the tale,
Of Tony Montanya.
Cubano Flame, with the Miami Nuts. [IDK what that means]
Got a Basshead wife, [My wife is highly addicted to Base Heroine]
But her womb is polluted. [Err... not sure.]
This whole town's a pussy [Everyone in this place is a coward]
Just waiting to get fucked! [I'm going to beat them up]
Turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile. [It appears Michael Bolton is a adorant cinema fanatic]
(You complete me)
Yep, yeah, okay.