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Unappreciated Jokes!

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This actually happened on my facebook. ( In case you're wondering, yes that's my facebook name.)

Vaulient - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums


Vaulient - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums


Vaulient - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums


Vaulient - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums


Vaulient - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums
 
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3 more thousand views and we would become the most viewed thread in this section! :O

Today's update:

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Vaulient - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums

Vaulient - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums

Vaulient - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums
 
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10 funny things you can say to people.

1. Go to a pet shop and ask for a cow.

2. Call PizzaHut and ask for Domino's number.

3. Order a pizza 5 minutes before new years and when it arrives say, "I ORDERED THIS THING A YEAR AGO".

4. when someone tells you to have a nice day, stare at them and say, "Don't tell me what to do!".

5. Make a cardboard car and go through a local drive through and act as if everything is normal.

6. Go to the vet with a can of mashed tuna and ask, "can you fix him?"

7. Point into the sky and say, "look a dead bird" and see just how many look.

8. Call PizzaHut. Talk about the difficulties of being a vegetarian, then order a pepperoni pizza.

9. Place a walkie talkie in your mailbox. As someone walks by, scream.

10. Hire a taxi. When the driver asks where do you wanna go, say "to infinity and beyond".
 
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Only one for today ... alert .. be prepared.

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Today's update:


 
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Todayyyy:

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fvTckyH - Unappreciated Jokes! - RaGEZONE Forums

 

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4 pages and counting! We're going strong folks <3

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5,000 views on this thread already?! :O

 
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Was staring in awe at nothing, thus the delay.

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Found this story on reddit. Gotta say I laughed.

Last night, my wife's boss from her brand new job invited us over for dinner. On the drive over, my wife reiterated many times to me just how important it was to make a good impression.
I scoffed and arrogantly informed my silly wife that I always make good impressions.
My wife's boss is a single lady in her fifties, so it was just the three of us. We chitchatted over drinks and salads and seemed to really be hitting it off. She laughed at my well-timed, perfectly-appropriate jokes and my wife seemed pleased.
Soon she brought out the main course, a nice big juicy steak for each of us. As I began to cut into my steak, I was discouraged to discover how under cooked this steak was.
Now, I've had my fair share of rare steak. I prefer medium, but I can handle rare. This was several-minutes-on-a-hot-grill short of rare. I probably could've resuscitated the cow had I tried. Instead, I sat there fidgeting with my knife and fork, worrying about how I was going to get away with not eating this steak.
Claim vegan-ism? No, I'd already feigned great enthusiasm upon seeing the steak.
Just then, our hostess excused herself to the kitchen to take care of some dessert preparations. As I looked across the fancy dining room table at the open window of this 3rd story apartment... a cartoon light bulb appeared over my head.
I knew I had to be decisive, realizing that she could return at any moment. I committed. I grabbed the steak with my hand, gently shook off the juice and executed a perfect throw right through the center of the open window.
Here's the big time FU. The window wasn't open. It was the cleanest fricking window you've ever seen in your life. That is, until my mostly raw slab of steak slammed up against it and slowly slid down leaving a trail of bloody juice in its wake.
My wife - who's steak was a nice medium rare and was unaware of my predicament - turned, jaw dropped, and stared at me like I was an alien from another planet. This look then slowly morphed into more of a there-is-no-place-on-this-planet-you-can-ever-hide-from-me expression of demonic anger.
My wife's boss heard the thud of the steak-on-window impact and came quickly. She took in the scene, the steak sitting on the window sill, the blood trail, my empty plate, and then gave me an inquisitive, puzzled look.
I just didn't know what to say. It felt like a minute of silence, but was probably 3 or 4 seconds. Finally, the best I could manage was "I... I'm so sorry. I am such a clutz... I don't know... I was just cutting it.. and... it... ... it slipped... just ask my wife, I really am a clutz... right honey?... (no help coming from that direction) ... I will clean this up... I can't believe this... I am so sorry" etc... etc...
Both women continued to stare at me like I had escaped from the loony bin, as I smeared the blood around the window with my cloth napkin, dusted off the steak, and continued to mutter my incoherent explanation. I knew no one was buying the story.
I knew what I had to do. I sheepishly returned to my seat and proceeded to eat every bite of that disgusting, cold, chewy, bloody, raw steak.
I remained pretty quiet the rest of the evening. My wife's only two words to me since the incident are "I'm fine".
 
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