Ask Raff!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JC/Raiden

From what you've told me I think it's safe to say this girl needs some counciling, and I'm not referring to the self-harming. Regardless of who you are anybody knows the risks that come with doing such a thing. But no girl that's quite all there upstairs would ever try to cause a miscarriage by punching her self in the stomach. I'm not saying shes crazy, but most likely very confused.

From a personal opinion while also using my own experience what's happened to you was probably the best thing that could ever happen to you. I wouldn't be supprised if you don't see that right now because your also feeling confused and more then likely conflicted with your own emotions.

This girl has put new definition in to abusing your trust, your love, your loyalty and no doubt many other things shes tried to exploit due to the strong feelings you have for her. I highly doubt she ever expected you to break up with her because of these feelings which is why shes telling you shes sorry. I mean heck, judging by her track record it wouldn't shock me to find out that she's also lieing about being sorry to because I think shes just a mind fuck.

This girl is so much bad news it's written all over her. This is the time in your "getting-over-her-period" when you need to start admitting and accepting the truth(s). By asking your self questions such as...

"Does she genuinely love me?"

"Does she respect me?"

"Can she be honest/faithful with me?"

And questions like these must be answered using factual evidence, meaning the relationship you once had together. Because if you answer these questions in any other way all your going to do is start fighting with your self because your heart will resent the truth out of false sense of comfort.

I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you all this but you must move on. Paint your self a picture you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you've had to put up with so much pain and for what ? For some girl that's treated you exactly however she felt like while you've been rolling out the red carpet for her. You break up with her because of all the crap shes put you through and while your still in emotional torment inside due to the break up she's fucking sleeping with other guys because its helping her get over you ? I hope you understand where I'm going with this...

Not only that she clearly has issues that she needs to seek some help for because the things she's done is bluntly wrong. I'm the type of guy that always tries to see the good in everybody because that's just the way I am, but people like her are impossible.

Please believe me when I say....Once you've taken that first important step in to getting over her the rest of the "recovery" becomes so much easier, you must take that first step. The faster you get away from this girl the better, and I can place a wager on that you ignoring her will attract her more in to getting your attention back. Your the man, you have the penis so put your foot down once and for all and tell her how it is.

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Here is last night's text messages which she sent me. I don't save my outgoing text messages so yeah.

Spoiler:

Bunny (o2)
Tell me you love me. Oh god please. I cant go without that.

Bunny (o2)
Thank you greg. so much. in time too.

Bunny (o2)
Okay i will. im sorry for being a whore.

Bunny (o2)
I need you. il fall apart greg. dont do this to me. i wont live without you. please. im begging.

Bunny (o2)
I wish i could undo it. you said your my best friend :'( i refuse to live without you. i love you.

Bunny (o2)
Il send that 20 quid, will you be my friend then?

Bunny (o2)
I dont want or need the game. its you i need. dont make me live my life alone. i have ended contact with him and tyler thats why he emailed you. greg. please.

Bunny (o2)
I dont want too. i want you. i dont need anyone like i do with you. please. i cant beg much more. i wont last long with you. il have nothing. oh god please greg.

Bunny (o2)
Take me back as a friend. he gets me in trouble. please. (meaning tyler)

Bunny (o2)
No. ill go home if it will make you be my friend again. (blackmail) and he makes me upset you, like in the past. (no he doesn't lmao)

Bunny (o2)
PLEASE GREG, BE MY FRIEND! I CANT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU..i can't do it. is that really your final answer? you utterly sure? because you cant turn back...

Bunny (o2)
I want you as a friend. they go together.

Bunny (o2)
Promise me?

Bunny (o2)
Im about ten minutes away. if you say no, im going straight back out. btw not sure if you care, i have my first exam tomorrow x

Bunny (o2)
I was at the tracks. it helps me to think.

Bunny (o2)
Yes. Why?

Bunny (o2)
Im at home. will you be my friend please? x

I also forgot that she mentioned to me that her mum use to beat her because she was an alcoholic but i'm not sure if she was lying just to get sympathy off me.

She sent me more saying how she was so close of commit suicide by jumping off a bridge and cutting her wrists.

Today though, after trying to sort things out, she ended up becoming best friends with a lad called Nick that got his friend to treat her like shit. She knew what nick was doing and everything and i still don't know how she could be friends with him.

Also her friend 'Tyler' apparently treats her like shit and gets her in trouble.

Another thing that gets to me is the friends that introduced me to her also was trying to hit on her when i was dating her. When i went up to see her with a mate called Joe. They both got drunk and Joe came into our hotel room. I was sleeping on the bed with her and Joe crawled into bed (OUR BED) and Joe started feeling her up, she was awoken by him when he took her hand and started 'jacking himself off with her hand'.

I awoke during the morning, like at 4 when she and joe went for a 'cigarette'. I waited for their return but joe didn't come back, he went to his hotel room. She then mentioned to me that Joe did all this stuff and everything and i was pissed off like max. How he got in was beyond me, possible by her letting him in to do this type of stuff. Fucking cheater.

I'll keep you up to date when i feel like not killing myself.

Hey Raff.
Im in need of some advice.
Right here goes.

I've got this paper round right, where i earn

[QUOTE=iTyler;5021923]Hey Raff.
Im in need of some advice.
Right here goes.

I've got this paper round right, where i earn

Thanks for the advice Kathie.
My friends, seem to all just find like

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Suicide

Here is last night's text messages which she sent me. I don't save my outgoing text messages so yeah.

Spoiler:

Bunny (o2)
Tell me you love me. Oh god please. I cant go without that.

Bunny (o2)
Thank you greg. so much. in time too.

Bunny (o2)
Okay i will. im sorry for being a whore.

Bunny (o2)
I need you. il fall apart greg. dont do this to me. i wont live without you. please. im begging.

Bunny (o2)
I wish i could undo it. you said your my best friend :'( i refuse to live without you. i love you.

Bunny (o2)
Il send that 20 quid, will you be my friend then?

Bunny (o2)
I dont want or need the game. its you i need. dont make me live my life alone. i have ended contact with him and tyler thats why he emailed you. greg. please.

Bunny (o2)
I dont want too. i want you. i dont need anyone like i do with you. please. i cant beg much more. i wont last long with you. il have nothing. oh god please greg.

Bunny (o2)
Take me back as a friend. he gets me in trouble. please. (meaning tyler)

Bunny (o2)
No. ill go home if it will make you be my friend again. (blackmail) and he makes me upset you, like in the past. (no he doesn't lmao)

Bunny (o2)
PLEASE GREG, BE MY FRIEND! I CANT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU..i can't do it. is that really your final answer? you utterly sure? because you cant turn back...

Bunny (o2)
I want you as a friend. they go together.

Bunny (o2)
Promise me?

Bunny (o2)
Im about ten minutes away. if you say no, im going straight back out. btw not sure if you care, i have my first exam tomorrow x

Bunny (o2)
I was at the tracks. it helps me to think.

Bunny (o2)
Yes. Why?

Bunny (o2)
Im at home. will you be my friend please? x

I also forgot that she mentioned to me that her mum use to beat her because she was an alcoholic but i'm not sure if she was lying just to get sympathy off me.

She sent me more saying how she was so close of commit suicide by jumping off a bridge and cutting her wrists.

Today though, after trying to sort things out, she ended up becoming best friends with a lad called Nick that got his friend to treat her like shit. She knew what nick was doing and everything and i still don't know how she could be friends with him.

Also her friend 'Tyler' apparently treats her like shit and gets her in trouble.

Another thing that gets to me is the friends that introduced me to her also was trying to hit on her when i was dating her. When i went up to see her with a mate called Joe. They both got drunk and Joe came into our hotel room. I was sleeping on the bed with her and Joe crawled into bed (OUR BED) and Joe started feeling her up, she was awoken by him when he took her hand and started 'jacking himself off with her hand'.

I awoke during the morning, like at 4 when she and joe went for a 'cigarette'. I waited for their return but joe didn't come back, he went to his hotel room. She then mentioned to me that Joe did all this stuff and everything and i was pissed off like max. How he got in was beyond me, possible by her letting him in to do this type of stuff. Fucking cheater.

I'll keep you up to date when i feel like not killing myself.

---

No matter how much you try to figure out a girl like this it just doesn't happen, simply because there mind fucks so your thoughts are full of question marks. You've told me how often she lies to you, and shes even cheated on you (as good as) but I've never seen a girl beg like that before to get somebody back. It's actually difficult not to take her seriously because of how strong her plea is.

After saying that though when it boils down to it, it really doesn't matter. Because a girl like this just does you no good at all what good is a relationship if you spend half of it trying to figure out what shes up to or whether shes lieing to you about something such as where she's been the night before etc.

I honestly believe the smartest thing you can do if you don't let your feelings for her get in your way is just to break contact with her for good. Change your number it will make it much easier. Once you start putting the effort in to moving on it becomes much easier, its just taking that first step.


[QUOTE=iTyler;5021923]Hey Raff.
Im in need of some advice.
Right here goes.

I've got this paper round right, where i earn

Great, thanks for this Raff.
I'll try to take up boxing or something. <3
:D:

i want to just to be safe and extra careful and recentley she's been trying to get into the mood and take advantage of me forgetting about using protection.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jackbush

i want to just to be safe and extra careful and recentley she's been trying to get into the mood and take advantage of me forgetting about using protection.

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Sorry I've not been around lately, work has been taking up way to much of my time -_-.

Anyways....do you mind rephrasing all this please ? I understand what you've said to a degree, but the way you've wrote this makes me feel like I've walked in to the middle of you telling a story because it starts ever so randomly....

This may be a shot in the dark... But, I trust you read psychology books and you've looked into the field etc? I've looked into it myself and I have to ask you, when you go into university what subjects do they require to usually go into the psychology courses (to become a psychiatrist). I've read up you need to take head on science subjects; Maths, biology, chemistry and psychology or english - from there you go into medical school and go from there etc. I've also read you can take up subjects like: English literature/language, psychology, philosophy and sociology. Which one is right (I think the former is the correct one) and/or which other fields would you advise me to go into based on the latter subjects. Please, if anyone else is in the same position as me, feel free to give some advice in pm too. Thanks in advance and sorry if you don't know much about this topic. I also have a banging headache writing this, so I'll give this a once over tomorrow and see what mistakes I've made typing this.

Hey Raff.
I got problems :(.
Things have been better with the whole mom situation and her trying to direct me into the 'right' path. She got off my case about makeup and pants-wearing. Shes even letting me peirce my ears which is a big step for her. Although she is still trying to make me into a decent christian, lol.

Anyways, we moved from oregon to south dakota about 3 months ago and well...apparently my brother has been fighting with his wife about random shit for the past 3-4 years. She didnt really want us in her house but where the fuck are we supposed to go? Hotels are damn expensive. Anyways we got there and it was REALLY akward. She would ignore my brother and take the kids with her to her moms house about 30 miles away and stay there for days. Then suddenly all hell broke loose when she started to stay at her moms house for WEEKS and wouldnt come home with the kids, because Vit (my bro) told her to put the tv down that she was carrying downstairs. She was pregnanent at the time which i find a sensible thing to say to a preggie woman whos carring a REALLY HEAVY TV DOWN THE STAIRS.

They kept having these little fights about NOTHING. My brother owns his very own cabinet making shop/store and she kept saying that he should go make love to his cabinents since he loves them so much...which is the most RIDICOULOUS thing i have ever heard. HE MAKES LIKE 20,000 DOLLARS PER MONTH MAKING KITCHENS FOR PEOPLE. So she decided that he has to get a NORMAL job by the 5th of may or shes divorcing him. And..he did. But during those days to that date, they had another huge fight where my brother got so fed up that he just flat out said, 'lets get a divorce' and she get a huge smile on her face and ran to her moms house to tell the news. One thing i forgot to mention was that her mother is a snakie bitch who didnt disagree with her daughter and tell her how stupid this entire thing was.

So...my brother, me, my mother went to talk to THEIR family about it that very night..although her mother shooed me off like i was a little kid so i didnt get to hear much about what was going on. That didnt do us ANY good because their family started HATING ours. I dont know what we did but they would talk behind our backs and all that kinda dirty shit and when we confronted them their all like, 'WHhat are you talking aboutt? Your FAMILY.' which was complete bullshit. Anyways May came and went and all this time they kept having fights and his wife went all cold to us. That really hurt because i viewed her as my sister and when she did that it was like she took a butcher knife and stabbed it into tiny little peices and fed it to gators. How can anyone do that to FAMILY? I just dont understand. She wouldnt even tell me what I did to her to make her that mean to me as to shun me from her life.

After she gave birth in May, she started acting more reasonable...kind of. Apparently she told vit that unless he wants to get divorced that he wasnt allowed to see us, visit us or call us. When i called him 2 days ago about a bill that was supposed to have come in may and asked him if he had seen it since it was due a month ago and now instead of paing 120 for my cell i have to pay 389, he said, shouting, with a cold tone, and i quote, 'IF I HAD YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT.' and ended the call WHILE i was asking what the hell was he yelling at me for?. He had chosen her over us.

My question is..how do i get over this? Hes my family and i never thought family would act this way towards each other but..this is just putting a damper on my life and soul. All we are trying to do is just start a new life in a new state and this is holding me back..us back.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ownage™

This may be a shot in the dark... But, I trust you read psychology books and you've looked into the field etc? I've looked into it myself and I have to ask you, when you go into university what subjects do they require to usually go into the psychology courses (to become a psychiatrist). I've read up you need to take head on science subjects; Maths, biology, chemistry and psychology or english - from there you go into medical school and go from there etc. I've also read you can take up subjects like: English literature/language, psychology, philosophy and sociology. Which one is right (I think the former is the correct one) and/or which other fields would you advise me to go into based on the latter subjects. Please, if anyone else is in the same position as me, feel free to give some advice in pm too. Thanks in advance and sorry if you don't know much about this topic. I also have a banging headache writing this, so I'll give this a once over tomorrow and see what mistakes I've made typing this.

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1) Psychology - I'd suggest having either Pyschology, Biology, English, Maths as your A levels. If you are dead set on going into psychology. Furthermore if you fancy your chances at medicine. Pyschology, Biology, Maths and Chemistry. I warn you though Chem and Bio are very difficult together
2) With the subjects you've stated above, the course you could go for are: Economics, Medicine, Dentistry, Law, Pyschology. Those are the main fields, ofcourse there are other finance based subjects at Uni you might want to consider such as Actueurial Science or Accounting.
3) I'd advise you to pick the first lot of subjects, Much harder. But gives you a much broader option.
4) If you look at Uni's blacklists, the blacklist is just lists Uni's tend NOT to favour, Sociology is on there. So don't go there and philosophy is pretty useless to you, unless you're seriously considering going into the course at all.

I do Economics at the LSE, but back when I was doing A Levels I wanted to do medicine. So I picked Chemistry, Biology, Economics and Maths. Which kept my options quite open.

Hope Raff doesn't mind I filled in on this one.

Best of Luck,
Jay.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Grasna

Hey Raff.
I got problems :(.
Things have been better with the whole mom situation and her trying to direct me into the 'right' path. She got off my case about makeup and pants-wearing. Shes even letting me peirce my ears which is a big step for her. Although she is still trying to make me into a decent christian, lol.

Anyways, we moved from oregon to south dakota about 3 months ago and well...apparently my brother has been fighting with his wife about random shit for the past 3-4 years. She didnt really want us in her house but where the fuck are we supposed to go? Hotels are damn expensive. Anyways we got there and it was REALLY akward. She would ignore my brother and take the kids with her to her moms house about 30 miles away and stay there for days. Then suddenly all hell broke loose when she started to stay at her moms house for WEEKS and wouldnt come home with the kids, because Vit (my bro) told her to put the tv down that she was carrying downstairs. She was pregnanent at the time which i find a sensible thing to say to a preggie woman whos carring a REALLY HEAVY TV DOWN THE STAIRS.

They kept having these little fights about NOTHING. My brother owns his very own cabinet making shop/store and she kept saying that he should go make love to his cabinents since he loves them so much...which is the most RIDICOULOUS thing i have ever heard. HE MAKES LIKE 20,000 DOLLARS PER MONTH MAKING KITCHENS FOR PEOPLE. So she decided that he has to get a NORMAL job by the 5th of may or shes divorcing him. And..he did. But during those days to that date, they had another huge fight where my brother got so fed up that he just flat out said, 'lets get a divorce' and she get a huge smile on her face and ran to her moms house to tell the news. One thing i forgot to mention was that her mother is a snakie bitch who didnt disagree with her daughter and tell her how stupid this entire thing was.

So...my brother, me, my mother went to talk to THEIR family about it that very night..although her mother shooed me off like i was a little kid so i didnt get to hear much about what was going on. That didnt do us ANY good because their family started HATING ours. I dont know what we did but they would talk behind our backs and all that kinda dirty shit and when we confronted them their all like, 'WHhat are you talking aboutt? Your FAMILY.' which was complete bullshit. Anyways May came and went and all this time they kept having fights and his wife went all cold to us. That really hurt because i viewed her as my sister and when she did that it was like she took a butcher knife and stabbed it into tiny little peices and fed it to gators. How can anyone do that to FAMILY? I just dont understand. She wouldnt even tell me what I did to her to make her that mean to me as to shun me from her life.

After she gave birth in May, she started acting more reasonable...kind of. Apparently she told vit that unless he wants to get divorced that he wasnt allowed to see us, visit us or call us. When i called him 2 days ago about a bill that was supposed to have come in may and asked him if he had seen it since it was due a month ago and now instead of paing 120 for my cell i have to pay 389, he said, shouting, with a cold tone, and i quote, 'IF I HAD YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT.' and ended the call WHILE i was asking what the hell was he yelling at me for?. He had chosen her over us.

My question is..how do i get over this? Hes my family and i never thought family would act this way towards each other but..this is just putting a damper on my life and soul. All we are trying to do is just start a new life in a new state and this is holding me back..us back.

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Hmm how to put this...This problem you speak of Anna hun I don't think it's all that bad, I'll try explaining to you the best I can.

I already know you've a good heart but problems like these aren't for you to worry about, you've been sucked in to this war without realizing it. Your Brothers Wife's family clearly have issues with your family but without having any proper reason for having one. But then again that's not any surprise either, because people are like that they create problems out of nothing because they simply just don't like the look of you.

I know you love your brother and so you should. But this seems to be his problem more then anything else you'd be doing your self a massive favour by just trying to ignore this and concentrate on your self because it's unneeded stress that nobody needs. All I can really advice you to do because of the circumstances is just wash your hands with this, do you understand where I'm coming from ?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by -Legend-

1) Psychology - I'd suggest having either Pyschology, Biology, English, Maths as your A levels. If you are dead set on going into psychology. Furthermore if you fancy your chances at medicine. Pyschology, Biology, Maths and Chemistry. I warn you though Chem and Bio are very difficult together
2) With the subjects you've stated above, the course you could go for are: Economics, Medicine, Dentistry, Law, Pyschology. Those are the main fields, ofcourse there are other finance based subjects at Uni you might want to consider such as Actueurial Science or Accounting.
3) I'd advise you to pick the first lot of subjects, Much harder. But gives you a much broader option.
4) If you look at Uni's blacklists, the blacklist is just lists Uni's tend NOT to favour, Sociology is on there. So don't go there and philosophy is pretty useless to you, unless you're seriously considering going into the course at all.

I do Economics at the LSE, but back when I was doing A Levels I wanted to do medicine. So I picked Chemistry, Biology, Economics and Maths. Which kept my options quite open.

Hope Raff doesn't mind I filled in on this one.

Best of Luck,
Jay.

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And no it's fine this time, because of the question which was asked and you provided good in depth information where I as couldn't.

Well you see Raff, I came to you before with my problems. and you gave me advice (thanks :):) so i've decided to come to you again.

I'm heading to the states on the 30th July for a whole month.
I've got this strange feeling i'm going to suffer quite badly from withdrawal symptoms.. because i'm addicted to the PC. I understand, i spend WAY too much time on the PC. I feel as if its the only thing to do on weekends.
Luckily, i don't have the internet during the week.. which stops me to a certain extent.. but i think its that precisely thats keeping me on during weekends so much. I never go on during the week.. so all the stuff i've gotta do i do on weekends.
If theres anyway you can help me, ease off.. it'd be greatly appreciated.
Best Regards,
Tyler.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by iTyler

Well you see Raff, I came to you before with my problems. and you gave me advice (thanks :):) so i've decided to come to you again.

I'm heading to the states on the 30th July for a whole month.
I've got this strange feeling i'm going to suffer quite badly from withdrawal symptoms.. because i'm addicted to the PC. I understand, i spend WAY too much time on the PC. I feel as if its the only thing to do on weekends.
Luckily, i don't have the internet during the week.. which stops me to a certain extent.. but i think its that precisely thats keeping me on during weekends so much. I never go on during the week.. so all the stuff i've gotta do i do on weekends.
If theres anyway you can help me, ease off.. it'd be greatly appreciated.
Best Regards,
Tyler.

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So sorry been busy and haven't checked the thread, I know you supposed to have gone yesterday but I hope I ain't to late. Anyways this problem isn't all that difficult to over come, after reading what you've said you don't use the PC during the week it's just during the weekends.

Personally I don't even think that's bad at all, definitely can say your not hooked that's for sure because it's just during your spare time. But if you wanna wean yourself off it during the weekends to then it's just all about pre-planning.

When your at school or college or work whatever it is that you do lol. Speak to your friends early during the week and make solid arrangements for the weekend to do something together whether it's going away for the weekend, or multi sport activities. Whatever is your poison really.

And if that doesn't work out then just join a couple of clubs if you have the money, that's guaranteed to work because all it takes is a membership. Don't feel like you have to completely distract your entire weekend away from the PC though because it's not like you use it often anyway. So bare this and what I've said previously in mind and you'll be fine :).

Hi Raff.. I have been reading some of the forums ask Raff question. Lets see if you can help me.


I suffer from a mental illness and basically I don't remember what i did yesterday or 2 days ago. The Bad thing is that I am in College. So basically it is crazy enough to pass these classes. Its just the mood swings and depressive thoughts of suicide. Hearing voices some times, and seeing, talking to humans who are really ghosts. Its a weird life I live because I don't know if I am Dead or If I'm alive. The thing is that I don't breath for a long period of time. Thus giving me the notion of Half/Dead spirit so the say. But i feel pain. Sometimes grievance and sorrow from others take a hold of me. And sometimes there hunger is transferred to me, so i am full but yet i feel hungry.

I just dont know if I'm an Angel or a God, becuase that is all the voices tell me. The good ones, but the evil voices call me bad words.