ftw :tooth:Quote:
Originally Posted by Forcystos
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ftw :tooth:Quote:
Originally Posted by Forcystos
There goes Kaoii trying to justify his dozen times a day. :icon6: Seriously though, it's all true, every word of it... as always.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaoii
About gf, it kinda excludes jerking off for me as long as I get laid every day or a couple, but whenever there's several days of not seeing her or she's got *those* damn days you'll find me cheating on her with my right hand.:jerk:
It is justified you bastard, dont be a communist!
never, :P
OMG this is the funniest section in all of Ragezone. Especially with dick nose.
lets move your semen thread here first and then it'll be the funniest :P
masturbation is not bad, it dont get you blind, it wont make god hate you, it doesnt make cancer, it doesnt make your balls smaller, doesnt make you do anything really.....
All you get really is a good feeling,baby,and a oh shit child support!!!
it does make you a little bit number over time, but it's not all bad, after all then you'll last longer, and I'm sure it's only a temporary thingQuote:
Originally Posted by cameronmd
Nope, luckely not :P . One time it was close though :|. I was just jerking off ( lol ) and suddenly my mom came in the room :| ( crap ). Then i was like : AHHH MY STOMACHE... i rolled over the floor and my mother run to the kitchen getting something ( dunno what it was lol, dont remember ) . In the mean time i pulled up my shorts + pants :D . Damn im good :P
lol duck under the table and pretend to be fixing a loose cable or something.
but you should only slap the salami if:
- your the only one in the house and you will be able to hear when they arive back
- everyone is sleeping and you have setup security so you will hear if anyone wakes up (e.g.- put a chair in the middle of the corridor so you can hear it when its being moved)
- if you are like me and your room is detached from the rest of your house and you have purposely skipped oiling the hinges on the 4 doors they have to get through to get to ur room.
dont do what danny dont does!
Who the hell is danny :P ?
lolQuote:
Originally Posted by rishwin
mum: dam i wish hed stop leaving that chair here every time he jerks off, i guess we could put a table here and 3 more chairs the amount of time it gets left here!
lol!Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert
even beter :D
Is it me or do you all have to unplug the webcam before doing anything JUST incase someone is watching >.>
screw thoseQuote:
Originally Posted by rishwin
locking your bedroom door FTW
dont have a webcam o.oQuote:
Originally Posted by cameronmd
http://media.putfile.com/stephen-lyn...t-me-spanking-
Sort of, I usually only turn it against the wall though if I've used it and might use again later the same day, but often it's simply unplugged because I need the USB slot for my DDR pad. I do have additional USB slots but I've been too lazy to install it again.Quote:
Originally Posted by cameronmd
Anyhow knowing I have my webcam plugged bothers me a little sometimes, you just never know which program you forgot online and broadcasting :D
Lol the web cam reminds me of a dumb freind of mein and I caught him on it lol ><
Well mastubation is just natural for the male kind of our species so getting caught is embarasing but understandable I just bet that most of the ppl dont admit they got caught but I did lol
><
Well when you dont have a girl freind to love you your hand loves you ;)
No i haven't.
honestly, i think its totally normal. and honestly i can say, i do it. and i am in no way ashamed.Quote:
Originally Posted by rishwin
let people think its bad, they are just missing out on something they could very much enjoy, and about the jacking me off thing....isnt that called a handjob? so its not really funny when you say it that way
lolz i've never been caught. a couple of em close encounters but nothin still lolz =P
the oh-so-sudden-t-shirt-over-your-dirty-business act =P
Why not the method works ! I said too my last GF suck me off u hoe... she said too me im wierd and layed on my bed ! I said what soo you want sex and see really looked at me wierd soo I go too er jack me off then and she goes ermmm ermmm OK and thats where it begun for me =)Quote:
Originally Posted by rishwin
and then you woke up.Quote:
Originally Posted by OnlinePixel
^^^
hmmm on the entire "have you been caught before" thing, see what happens to your caught/notcaught ratio if you try a "danger wank". Goes something like this;
Start, call your mum and try and finish before she gets in.
:lol:
u know what be funny , i went out side to see my dad , he was in the room we got out the back were he burns movies , i walk in ,say Hey !!! he hands me 25 porn dvd's and says go amuze ur self Lol
but then you play it and its gay porn but then your like Eh i can still jack off to itQuote:
Originally Posted by _Risk_
ROFL the first thing that kurts ever said thats actually funney xDQuote:
Originally Posted by Darude
Damn you got burned Risk.
Ahahahaha...yes, I've been caught. :(
While watching a porno.
I didn't see my mom come in the room.
She stood right behind me for who knows how long.
When I realized she was there I was like "OMFG!"
And I ran to the bathroom & didn't come out for several hours.
That was probably the most humiliating thing I've ever been through. >.<!
So your mum stood there and ogled at you while you released the tension?Quote:
Originally Posted by fuckstick
Wonder what she was thinking....
"Wow. Just like his father... Go on son! Pump IT!"
Haha, that's a good one. I've never been caught, thank god.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ionic & Schizo
lol of course. im asian, theres almost no privacy at my house. ive been caught having sex here too many times too -_-
thats goldQuote:
Originally Posted by Ionic & Schizo
I cant amagine getting caught and not feeling the same
An acquintance of mine was once sleeping in between of two girls, well apparently he considered those girls attractive since he got a boner, well what can you do, of course you've gotta jack it off in order to fall asleep. Unfortunate to him, he got caught by those girls, how embarrassing. The story doesn't tell whether those girls helped him finish.
tbh masturbation is so you dont go crazy, but as soon as a girl lets me fuck her... IM GOING IN!!!!
dunno most of the girls i know thought are just really good friends :/
I'm afraid with that attitude you're not going far. You see, more often than not they'll want something in return.:bounce:Quote:
Originally Posted by b1zn4tch
Ha... That gave me a few laughs.Quote:
Originally Posted by chanmel
lol, Ive been doing the deed for lord knows how long, never been caught... just gotta watch where you do it!!
Hell, I was in the Marines for a few years, and we used to take turns during firewatch to go into the bathroom stalls to jerk off -laughs-
o_0 this thread still alive
tbh al u ppl who got caught suck XD
Im managing to go unnoticed with my whole family in the house and ma door wide open :D
Quote:
Originally Posted by xeLJoYo
I felt like it was too good of a post to let drop a few weeks back, no reason to not pull it up adn get a few lasts posts on it =)
well i've never been caught jacking off... cause i'm a girl ahaha... but a few months ago i was "fooling around" with my boyfriend in his mums house in the early hours of the morning and he had a few mates staying over (we thought they were asleep), so we went into the bathroom to do our business (as you do!) and a few minutes later one of his mates knocks on the door and starts laughing histerically when he realises what's going on then ended up waking up everyone including my guys mum... you have no idea the amount of explaining we had to do! still makes me cringe >o<
DANGER WANK
its where u jack off shout a famly members name and c if you can finish befor they get to ya room :P
if u pass *high 5*
if u fail HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Am I the only one who didnt quite find that funny? lol
didn't humor me eitherQuote:
Originally Posted by Sardaukar
LOL thats suicidal!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by brum246
lol legendQuote:
Originally Posted by brum246
Whats wrong is in the results my name shows up bold and green screaming AHAHAHA LOOK WHAT I PICKED.
The price of being a mod :P
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyle
haha, sucker :-)
Yea while in the bathroom... damn we teenagers get no privacy xD :roflmao:
lol u tried before??Quote:
Originally Posted by brum246
39 people... lol I am wondering WHO caught them. haha
Their family members i guess
My mom walked in on mebefore...my dad laughed so hard about it. He said "Don't worry son. Everybody does it even me." I was like errrrr leave em alone dad? I dont care? lol
lol you don't have to worry then =pQuote:
Originally Posted by Kyle
What is the point of this thread, any way?
"have you been caught jacking off?"Quote:
Originally Posted by bitblaster
Sleep pill Masturbate (I dont think it has been posted)
Take 1 or 2 sleep pills and see if you can finish off before you fall asleep ^^
Rules: Take atleast one sleep pill ^^ like.. valium or something
Rule 2: There are no more rules ..
I know this post sucks :D thats why im posting it, oh and yeah ive never been caught, close twice, Im not lucky :P I .. Dunno I havent tried the "Sleep pill Masturbate" ^^..
Quote:
From sexmaul in Warcraft III Frozen throne
And remember kids, sex can wait.........................Masturbate! Pwnt..
I myself masturbate in shower, but I go on porn sites and then I go in the shower and im thinking about the hot girl I just saw on the site lol! :p
Not around the computer, cause you know when you're done, most of the time. The first thing is, you touch the mouse to click the "X" on the window! Lol .. Without washing your hands.
And no, I never been "caught", well I don't think my parents watch me in the shower >.< LOL!
but i do ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Cpt.James
You guys are retarted(remind me of the typical stupid 14 year old kid). First of all it doesn't smell up your room if it does I suggest you go to the doctors. :lol:
Its done to relieve stress. I've been walked in on many times but never actually caught.. one time my dad thought I was on some kind of drug because I was sweating and all red.:lol: probably the funniest. :P
well beeing cought is one thing but not to be cought that is an art:-D
i have evaded such things with mostly luck.
but the main atraction is when you get jacked by a girl in class.
o how i loved those music classes :-D
There is a couple in there of people caught out being drunk and fallen asleep... well you can have a look for yourself.
http://www.vampirefartnose.com/priceless/
Must also state i have been caught .... by my dad....
*Walks into room*
*Shock for 2 seconds*
*Closes door*
Needless to say he knocks now....
Bloody Aussies :PQuote:
Originally Posted by FireFlyboy
LOL.. this is awesome Poll.. True is.. facing reality this is happening not just the people say Gross.. i had feeling they does it just dont like to share it.. today world full of porn's even this is hard to avoid online.. on TV all those Girl's you can't resisted.. MTV is what we called it.. SO dont be SHAME. it's NORMAL what guy's DOES in General.. I dont hide it.. I DOES it just night time's.. FEEL's great after it.. then go sleep with clean Package..
CHEER's :)
Great now people are openly (Morguai) telling us the time they have a wank (in his case night time) What's next, selling tickets?
Lol I do it when no one is home or when everyone in bed. I MAKE sure of it. And if I hear anything I stop what I'm doing. Plus at the computer I got a pillow because I got pinched nervs on my right elbow. So I just cover it up if needed and then throw it in washer later.
*Runs into corner*
Jesus im freaked out....
never been busted :P 9 yrs runing lol
ive been caught a few times. Actually recently by my girlfriend (like 2 days ago.) She was playing Kingdom Hearts 2, so i thought she would be busy for a while. It was like 11:30 in the morning, and she only likes to have sex at night. I was bored and horny, so i figure why not. Right at the climax, i get a towel, and finish, just as she pushes the door open.
It went something like.
GF "well... hi there
me "uhhh... hi..."
GF "what are you doing?" *giggle*
me "...nothing..."
GF "i need help with this boss"
me "uhhh... ok" (really embarassed)
I then put it away, and walk to the Den and beat the boss for her. She kept asking me why i did it, and im just like "i was bored and horny" and she just said "oh... ok"
that was kinda wierd, but shes a nympho, and she didnt really care.
im only 13 and i do it, i thought it was pefectly normal,sometimes i watch the occisional porn while doing it but i only do it at night, never been caught, but i think my older sisters kno, (moved out now)but they just keep it a secret wid me and dont tell my mum and dad
I've been doing it till I was about 9 I think... I was caught then (2 times i think)... after I got older, my method got perfectionised... haven't been caught in like 5 years :D
Do's Some One Know How To Get Caught?
hmmm how to get caught... well get into the lving room before your parents get home, turn on the tv, watch some porn, jack off and when they open the door u got caught... quite easy, isnt it?
and well, never got caught, there where some freakin dangerous situation but hell i'm good xD
1 time I allmost got caught,
i was wanking off and suddenly my door opened,
as fast as i could i pulled my shirt over my pants and closed the pr0n movie,
so my mum came in and she said:whats that smell here,
i got all red and said:yeah i know i farted :D
she looked at me and then she left (phew)
i didnt hear her on the stairs so she scared the f*ck out of me
but i think she knows :P
...wow what school is that??!?? lolQuote:
Originally Posted by TriumpH
O.o? Beans gonna be spilled tri?
never got caught :)
I even havent got caught in the car, when we were on a 2 hour drive.
I was on the backseat, put mah jacket over my "front" xD
did my hand in my pants, started wankin.
I was about 9 at that time, didnt Ejectule when i was 9 :)
But mostly i do it in the shower (No one watches me at the shower ok?)
I do it at least 3 time a day. It's kind of like drugs you just can't resist it and it feels good.
Only diffrence between drugs and masturbating is drugs can kill you and masturbation can embarras you ^^
Ive never been caught jacking off