AIDS- We all know it, and we all hate it. Everybody wants results that will eliminate the threat of AIDS, but so far nothing has been successful. Personally, I think everyone is going about it the wrong way. Sure, pills that dispose of the disease would be nice, but that will take years and billions of dollars. But don't panic yet - there is an alternate solution.
Australia - Who needs it? It's just an enormous island located between the Indian and Pacific Oceans. I think we should take the whole populace living in Australia and dispense them across the other five inhabited continents. Taking their place will be everyone diagnosed with AIDS - about 39 million people. Prior to the victims occupying Australia, a ninty-foot steel wall should be built around the continent imprisoning everyone inside.
Since all of the people with AIDS are pretty mad now, we need to protect the kangaroos. There are two sure methods of protecting them from the evil AIDS-people. First, it is possible to have homeless people become security guards - giving them not only a place to stay, but a nice job as well. These security guards equipped with guns will help keep the order in now-named AIDStralia. The poor defenseless kangaroos need extra protection, so that is exactly what they are going to get. The kangaroos will be equipped with state-of-the-art stainless steel suits of armor and boxing gloves. The suits of armor will protect against violent attacks from the mobs and the boxing gloves will give them an offensive advantage. To protect the kangaroos from elctrical shock from a lightning strike, they will wear a shock-proof felt cloth undearneath the armor.
Now that AIDStralia is all set, it is time to let nature do its work. Since everyone living there, with the exception of the kangaroos and the homeless people, haas AIDS, the disease will not spread to other people. Everyone living outside of AIDStralia will not have to worry about receiving AIDS because no one can enter or leave the continent. In about twenty years, some fellow colleagues and I will return to AIDSttralia and see if nature completed its task. After all of the AIDS-peple die from the disease, we will build a big monument in remembrance of the 39 million people that moved to AIDStralia willingly to help make the world a better place to live. Ok...maybe they were forced to go by means of gunpoint, but that's beside the point. The monument will be of a metal-plated kangaroo surrounded by a huge steel wall.
In conclusion, I will talk about some facts that motivated this modest proposal. In total, there have been over 20 million people die from AIDS. Each year, about 5 million people become infected- that's about 15,000 a day! With these numbers constantly on the rise, the risk of getting AIDS is skyrocketing.
By: Faldrok, a friend of mine, and yes...i have his permission to post his stuff.
p.s. no offense to aussies
Originally Posted by Hogpeuf
