joke

[GohanSSJ]

Let's post some more. :D


Letter from his girlfriend back home.

It read:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky
**************************************************

*
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:

Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care,
Ricky
-------------------------------


Jim and Edna

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day
while Jim and Edna they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him.

She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital,
as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have
good news and bad news. The good news is you're being dis-charged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so
sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?"
------------------------



A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a huge kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.
-----------------------------




Dear Redneck Son;

I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother....

Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
-----------------------



Driving along a two lane rural highway, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The owner takes the guy around into the backyard where he sees a black mutt just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the mutt replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking
pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Finally, retired and did the talk show circuit.

The guy is amazed. He takes the owner off to the side and asks what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"

The owner replies, "Cause he's just a damned liar. He didn't do any of that ****."
------------------------------

Horror movie http://membres.lycos.fr/insaneoc/retarded/chicken.gif

[Speedhorn666]

Originally posted by GohanSSJ
The blonde interjects, "You stay out of this, mister, I'm talking to that little shithead on your knee!"

:rofl: that's the best 1

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering

[grantB]

ther were two blondes in a pub and one asks the other "if u can guess how many sandwiches ive got u can have them BOTH"

[Makaveli]

rofl

[exclamatio]

what happens when a woman gets some intelligence?
she spits it out

[DragonWoLf]

big lolo! :biglol:

[Capricorn]

Mmmm kitten with a dildo...

Ummm... *runs*

[Evilkitten]

Originally posted by Capricorn
Mmmm kitten with a dildo...

Ummm... *runs*

*runs after*
*slap*:tp:

[Capricorn]

Originally posted by evilkitten
*runs after*
*slap*:tp:

Noooo not the mouth :cry:

Slap my ass though :tp:

[Evilkitten]

Originally posted by Capricorn
Noooo not the mouth :cry:

Slap my ass though :tp:

i wont, i'm not that mean but i've slap u there :tp:

[Capricorn]

Originally posted by evilkitten
i wont, i'm not that mean but i've slap u there :tp:

Can I slap your ass? :tp:

[Evilkitten]

Originally posted by Capricorn
Can I slap your ass? :tp:

plz

[Capricorn]

Originally posted by evilkitten
plz

looooooooooooooooooool :D

[Makaveli]

get a room and stop spamming, *pfft the thought of kitten and cappeh having sex0rz is NASTY*

[GohanSSJ]

BTW that's nasty in a bad way, just to let you know. ;)

[Evilkitten]

Originally posted by Makaveli
get a room and stop spamming, *pfft the thought of kitten and cappeh having sex0rz is NASTY*

no thanks

and just because your not getting not anything

[GohanSSJ]

Kitten do you realise what you are saying?

Maka says get a room and stop spamming and you say no thanks... how odd. o.O

[Capricorn]

Originally posted by evilkitten
no thanks

and just because your not getting not anything

Can I have some? :tp:

[Evilkitten]

Originally posted by GohanSSJ
Kitten do you realise what you are saying?

Maka says get a room and stop spamming and you say no thanks... how odd. o.O

looking back at it, yes i do >.< but i stop spamming just 4 him.

Originally posted by Capricorn
Can I have some? :tp:

i'll b w8ing right here til u come 2 me then maby i will:tp:

[Capricorn]

Originally posted by evilkitten
looking back at it, yes i do >.< but i stop spamming just 4 him.




i'll b w8ing right here til u come 2 me then maby i will:tp:

Come to you? More like come on you. :ehwatever

[GohanSSJ]

Don't you mean "in" Cap?

[Capricorn]

Originally posted by GohanSSJ
Don't you mean "in" Cap?

No because I don't want to get her pregnant. :)

Although.... :hail: condoms

[GohanSSJ]

There are more then enough things to prevent pregnancy you know. ;)

[Capricorn]

Originally posted by GohanSSJ
There are more then enough things to prevent pregnancy you know. ;)

I know that. Just... well they're not all 100% effective now are they.

Besides - long way away before we sex0r so shhhhhhhh. I was just horny. :tp:

[GohanSSJ]

Was horny? You don't mean your not horny now? Have you been jacking off while posting here? Bad boy.

And who says it will be along time, maybe kitten is just dieing for you to cum...erm come... erm how about both?