right im bored so evry1 tell me there best joke
gives us summat 2 do =P
right im bored so evry1 tell me there best joke
gives us summat 2 do =P
Isn't there a specific forum for 'jokes' ?
i dont care =P
ok only ppl from rz mir can tell jokes on this 1 =P
hahahahahha nice one :)Originally Posted by Dickie
Dam U
Just Tell A Joke God Dammit!! =p
A man walks into a bar.... and says ow.
Ok, here goes..
A man standing ontop of a roof about to jump off because he's just lost his job and his wife has left him for somebody else, as he's about to jump he's stopped he turns round and santa's stood there..
Santa says to the man, hey if you do me one favour i'll correct your life.
The man agrees and asks what the favour is.
Santa says to him turn around and drop your pants, confused the man does as he's asked.
Santa gives him 'a good see'ing to' leans over and asks the man his age, to this he replied 'I'm 36'
Santa then says aren't you a little old to believe in me?
lmao thats a gooden
Got plenty more, lets read one of yours :p
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
www.jokes.com must be gettin tonnes of hits now lol
thats where i found that 1 lol
What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Doug.
now thats funny =P
almost as funny as 'wat dya call a deer with no eyes'
no idea
Ok this is one a friend told me,
3 men stranded in a jungle..
they're captured by savages and are told unless they perform 2 tasks they will be killed and eaten,
Task no.1 - go into the jungle and bring back 10 pieces of the same fruit
So the 1st man goes into the jungle and brings back 10 apples, so the savages tell him if he manages to get all 10 apples up his arse without flinching he can be set free
so he gets the 1st apple up, on the sencond he screams with agony so they kill him and he goes to heaven,
the second man comes back with 10 berries, and is required to do the exact same, so in 1 goes, 2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9...
then he bursts out laughing, so they kill him and he also goes to heaven
the 2 men meet in heaven and the 1st man says, why did you luagh you almost got away..
the 2nd man replies, i couldnt help it i saw that daft cu*t walking down carrying pineapples.
lol nice jokes :)
A woman takes a lover home
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold"
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your gloves, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy says, "$500"The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that ... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going To take you to church and make you confess your greed." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in MY closet now."
lol..
a heavily pregnant woman walked into a bank, and a robber came in after her. he shot a couple of people, including her - 3 times in the tummy. so off she went to the hospital and the doctor said "ur actually having triplets, and each one has a bullet lodged in its digestive system. but they'll come out in time". so off she went and sure enough, the following week she had triplets - 2 girls and a boy.
skip forward 15 years...
one of the girls came into her mum and sed "mum mum! iv done something awful! i had a piss and a bullet came out!" she was very upset, so her mum explained the story to her.
the following week the other girl came in and sed t"mum mum! iv done something awful!" , and so her mum explained wat had happened 15 years ago and not to worry.
soon enough the boy came in shouting "mum mum! iv done something terrible!" his mum looked at him and said "let me guess - u had a piss and a bullet came out?" the boy looked confused and said "no! i was wanking and i shot the dog!"
/Piasa aka TheSex
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