It's sadly funny and true. It was epic, and I had no camera to tape it. The story is as accurate as it is below, nothing is exaggerated.
My family comes from the upper middle class, we've always been successful in almost all we do. We sorta were a example family, til this year...
My story begins when me and my ex fiancee broke up, which in the beginning it was a fantastic tale of fake love and really weird situations. From my ex gaining about 75 lbs before we were going to get married, to the part that she kept dwelling on me to change my life to serve her and her kid, the dad of the kid had split in a epic rush to escape responsibility, and i got stuck with what was left over.
When it all fell, I came to live with my grandmother for a bit, since my mom and dad are dead. This is where the epic fail comes in. For months I've been successful at business, making lots of money with my own company up til November, when i had the worst season of my life, sales were dead low, in the negative even :P. So December rolls around, and the moral is down. so today me and my family, I have 2 younger brothers, the youngest being a half domed retard pushing for a new laptop, sat around looking for soda on sale, cuz 1.79 a bottle is still GAY for soda for the Christmas party.
Funny thing is my two lil brothers beat each other up, and my grandmother punished em, taking one away getting him ready to leave to the store. The battle involved each one slapping, yes slapping like a girl, the shit out of each other for half an hour. The irony of it is, all one had to do was yell this is Sparta and kick them both out my back door into a puddle of mud, since they were fighting next to the back door, inches away from impending awesomeness.
Then, comes the awesome one liner of the house. I was asked if I wanted to go to Safeway for soda. My return reply was, "fuck soda for christmas, i can give a fuck about this rotten house". Anger flared and the demon bull ninja lady was unleashed as her wrath of fire, swords and words exploded around me. Satan cowered in fear, and Jesus tried to help but both were cut down in an instant. For the old lady is a demon god when angered, and the earth shoke with fear and awesomeness.
The doors slammed shut after 5 minutes, and they left for the store, leaving behind me and my other bro to talk and flame the day away.
Christmas is ruined, now i dunno when I'm going to use my 3 $25.00 Best Buy gift cards since I?, the Grinch, ruined Christmas in my house forever. I don't want to shop online, fuzz that, so I decided I'd shop after christmas with my gift cards, and maybe buy some teh awesomeness video games after every retard from here to silicon valley has bought their fill of usesless gifts.
~C4CAdvisor (Really pissed off and it feels good)
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Originally Posted by theninjaway
