[TXT] Funny Instructions

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  1. #1
    Grand Master NuTCracker is offline
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    [TXT] Funny Instructions

    Are we really that stupid?

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

    On Sears hair dryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.

    On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

    On a bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.

    On some Swanson frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestions: Defrost.
    Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
    Do not turn upside down.

    On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.

    On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
    Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

    On Nytol Sleep Aid:
    Warning: May cause drowsiness.

    On most brands of Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.

    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.

    On Sainsbury's peanuts:
    Warning: Contains nuts.

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

    On a child's Superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

    On a Swedish chain saw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

    On a toboggan:
    Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.

    On a knife sharpener:
    Caution: knives are sharp.

    On shin pads for cyclists:
    Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

    On a take away coffee cup:
    Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

    Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
    In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

    In a microwave oven manual:
    Do not use for drying pets.

    On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
    Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.

    On the bottom of a cola bottle:
    Do not open here.

    On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
    This broom does not actually fly.

    On a box of aspirin:
    Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

    On a bottle of laundry detergent:
    Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

    On a muffin packet:
    Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

    In a kettle instruction manual:
    The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.

    On a ketchup bottle:
    Instructions: Put on food.

    On a bottle of rum:
    Open bottle before drinking.

    A car park sign:
    Entrance only. Do not enter.

    A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
    Beware of people.

    Rules on a tram in Prague:
    Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.

    Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
    Take care: new non-slip surface.

    On a can of air freshener:
    For use by trained personnel only.

    On a bottle of baby lotion:
    Keep away from children.

    On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
    Do not wash.

    On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
    Some assembly required.

    On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
    May irritate eyes.

    On a Frisbee:
    Warning: may contain small parts.

    In a car handbook:
    In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

    On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
    Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

    Directions for mosquito repellant:
    Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

    On a birthday card for a one year old:
    Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

    In a hotel bedroom:
    Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

    In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
    Push this button in case anything happens.

    On a toilet cleaning brush:
    Do not use orally.

    On a can of Spray paint:
    Do not spray in your face.

    On a TV remote:
    Not Dishwasher safe.

    On a blowtorch:
    Not used for drying hair.

    On a washing machine inn a launderette:
    No small children.

    On a bottle of hair dye:
    Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

    On a push along lawn mower:
    Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

    On a box of fireworks:
    Do not put in mouth.

    On the packaging for a wrist watch:
    Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

    In a dishwasher manual:
    Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

    On a toaster:
    Do not use underwater.

    On a mattress:
    Do not attempt to swallow.
    Last edited by NuTCracker; 24-11-06 at 08:28 PM.


  2. #2
    Grand Master efareo is offline
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    HAHAHAHAHAHA THATS KILLER dude that is like one of the most funnyest things i have ever goddam since hILARious dude every single one of them ;where did u get them?

  3. #3
    Master Jedi Vendaku~Metal is offline
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    Not funny.

  4. #4
  5. #5
    Polish_ MySTIKaL is offline
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    lol some of them are old but still funny..

    some of them had me confused.... lmaoo

  6. #6
    Grand Master vinzone is offline
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    seen like half if not more of them already but still funny

  7. #7
    Master Jedi Vendaku~Metal is offline
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    They're evil. Not funny. ^^

  8. #8
    Grand Master scrat55 is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by NuTCracker View Post
    Are we really that stupid?

    In a microwave oven manual:
    Do not use for drying pets.
    This one is kinda stupid but it was put there for a reason. There was an elder lady that washed her dog and though that it might dry faster in the microwave. So she placed the dog inside, and obviously it died. Sad but true.
    After that, like she didnt knew that we cant dry pets in a mictowave, she SUED the company and WON, cz in the manual there was no warning about that...

    Its a true story.

    And about the peanuts bag, the most funniest thing ever. I mean how unlogick can u be to eat that and then ask your self. Was there peanuts in it?

    LOLZ

  9. #9
    Sorcerer Supreme MrD. is offline
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    Like the person who used hedge trimming sheers to cut someone's hair and then sued because it didn't say "Do not use to cut hair" in the instructions.

    In short, humanity is doomed, plus a LOL'd so much my sides hurt!

  10. #10
    Grand Master Zmiffy is offline
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    On a Swedish chain saw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
    Now I feel ashamed for being from Sweden :p

  11. #11
    Chocolate Rain Flameingskull is online now
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    as funny as those are, they're old as god.



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