* Behind every successful man there is a great woman and behind every
great woman there is a smart guy staring at her butt.
* If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.
* Avoid rape - say yes.
* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.
* The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
* Thou shalt not commit adultery...unless in the mood.
* The best thing about masturbation is that you don't have to talk
afterwards.
* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
* Assassins do it from behind.
* Chess players mate better.
* Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
* Good girls spit, Bad girls swallow, Naughty girls gargle.
* Excuses are like asses everyone's got them and they all stink.
* Squirrel who runs up woman's leg does not find nuts.
* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK.
* sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the
price men have to pay for sex.
* When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am
not able to remember, what did I choose.
* Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
* Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
* My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects.
* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.
* Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.
* Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!.
* sex is an emotion in motion.
* For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
* There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
don't and stop, unless they are used together.
* Anatomy is something everybody's got, but sure looks better on a
woman.
* The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference
between day and night.
* If he won't wear a condom, staple his willy at the end. That'll
make him think. Sorta....
* I was so poor growing up . if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had
nothing to play with.
* Love without sex is like cooking without eating, but be careful
because sex without condom is like driving a car without brakes!.
* I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in
bed.
* The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.
* Prostitution is a hole sale business.
* Lets all be considerate towards animal and let all the c*cks meet
the pussies of their choice.
* I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have
kids....
* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises
without restricting the view.
* It is good for woman to meet man in park, but better for man to
park meat in woman.
* Passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
* To all Virgins - Thanks for Nothing !.
* Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!.
* What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the
stick.
* Virginity can be cured.
* sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to
get or how long it is going to last.
* Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
* We all know that wonderful new pill as Viagara, but the scientific
term for it is: Mycoxafloppin.
* Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and in
demand.
* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?.
* Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up
straight.
* Why is brassiere singular and panties plural ?.
Men who scratch ass should not bite fingernails
* Virginity is like bubble, one prick all gone.
* Men who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
* Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand.
* Instead of 'SCREW', why don't they say 'NAIL' ? A man doesn't turn
his point 'round and'round...he hammers it home.
* Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause
kids.
* I'm not attracted by a girl's mind ... But by what she doesn't mind.
* Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?.
* Love thy neighbor, but be sure her husband is away.
* Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early kill people.
* Fighting for peace is like making love for virginity.
* Adding manpower to a late project is like getting nine women
pregnant in hopes of obtaining a baby in one month.
* Women vs. beer: You know you're the first one to pop a beer.
* He loves 'babies', especially those born sixteen to 25 years ago.
* No! Nothing like that! I'm just disabling your "virgin" feature.
* Gettin' married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used
to it, it ain't so hot.
* Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy
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Originally Posted by HeroX
