[TxT]Types Of Shit

[HeroX]

Sometimes when shit happens, you want to be able to articulate the experience more than just you've, taken a shit. Here are some shit definitions to help you explain the situation better to your friends and family...

Ghost Shit
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.
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Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!
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Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
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Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.
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Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
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Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.
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Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
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King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.
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Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.
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Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!
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Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.
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Snake Shit
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.
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Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.
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Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.
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Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.
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The Frightened Turtle
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in
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The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.
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The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
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The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.
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The Big Bobber
The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.
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The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
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The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.
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The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
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Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
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The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.
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Oh Shit! Shit
You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!
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The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.

[MentaL]

[Parker]

This thread is shit.

[Laz-low]

Tbh the jokes he's posted aren't at all funny.

[TimTheLord]

I read the first few and posted this. Not funny.

[Rishwin]

Tbh the jokes he's posted aren't at all funny.

are you shitting me? HeroX is a pioneer of this section!

[Laz-low]

The 4 he's posted recently really haven't been good at all. He's letting his guard down.

[exclamatio]

i have experienced pretty much all of these shits!

The 4 he's posted recently really haven't been good at all. He's letting his guard down.

if you don't like the content then stop spamming unless you want infractions

[Liselotte]

i don't know but i lol'd

[Pieman]

ITT: people with no humor.

I fucking lol'd irl.

[wounded]

LOL good shit!
Oh boy...I feel like you know me so well now.

[iNs@nE]

Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!

ROLFMAO!!!

[HeroX]

are you shitting me? HeroX is a pioneer of this section!

its okay rishy, i pity ppl with no sense of humour =) and brag abt a joke thread that was meant to be a joke. xD

[The PathFinder]

Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.

Happens to me all the time xD

[Neculin]

i thought i'd die from laughter, 10/10 ! xD

[Wloczykij]

rofl great shits xD

Beer Drunk Shit = saturday's morning :P

[Avenged]

The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

Thats happened to me, at another persons party xD

[Pfa]

lmao, I read it somewhere before but it's still fk'in hilarious.

"This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet."

[Unleashed Hell]

LoL, some weird shit, but pretty funny.

[Wizzdom]

i have experienced pretty much all of these shits!

Thats very nice to know, im glad you keep us updated about your shits

[linklink88]

Well this has been on paper on my fridge for the last years so it's not new but still makes me laugh and I can almost feel the feelings.

As for people who doesn't think HeroX got good things to tell, how come they are all pretty new and probably all under 13 years? ^^

[ChojiroShintaro]

i have experienced pretty much all of these shits!

Yes. I tried to remember each sort.