The Blonde Gambling Joke
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.
A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed..."YES!YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."
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The Voice
A guy went home from work one night and heard a voice. The voice whispered to him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
The man was disturbed about what he heard and ignored the voice. The next day when he got home from work, the same thing happened. The voice whispered to him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
Again the man ignored the voice, though he was very troubled by the event. Every day, the man was tormented by the same voice when he came home from work: " Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
Each time the man heard the voice he became increasingly upset. Finally, after two weeks, he succumbed to the pressure. He quit his job, sold his house, got together all his money, and headed to Vegas. The moment the man got off the plane in Vegas, the voice told him, "Go to Harrah's."
So he hopped into a cab and rushed over to Harrah's. As soon as he set foot in the casino, the voice echoed, "Go to the roulette table." The man did as he was told.
When he arrived at the roulette table, the voice firmly told him, "Put all your money on 17." Nervously, the man cashed in his money for chips and then put them all on 17. The dealer wished the man good luck and spun the roulette wheel.
Around and around the ball caromed. The man anxiously watched the ball as it slowly lost speed, until finally it settled into number... 21.
The voice said, "Damn..."
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