[Txt]YourMom & Insults

Huge list of them that i found editing a script of MSNPLUS. Credits go to whomever!

Quote:

Originally Posted by YourMom

0) Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
1) Your momma has eleven fingers and fifteen toes, and still can't count to twenty-six.
2) Your mom's so fat that Nasa octually orbits her.
3) Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says 'to be continued...'
4) Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry.
5) Your mom is so stupid she thought that a parental control was an abortion
6) Yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family
7) Your mom shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
8) Using 'Your mom' as a comeback became popular again in the year 2000 thanks to bored Indiana residents who decided that the old 80s joke should be born again for the new generation
9) Your mom is so fat that people practice by climbing Mt. Everest before they climb her.
10) Your mom is so fat, the astronauts keep believing there is a dimple on the Earth.
11) Your mom is so fat that hundreds of horrible jokes have been made at her expense.
12) Your mom is so ugly she needs two bags to cover her face.
13) Your mom is so stupid she took me to the movie theater to see 'Closed For The Season'.
14) Your mom's breath smells so bad she the reason people grow old and die.
15) Your mom is so stupid she thought that MySpace was a sexual position.
16) Your mom is so stupid she drove on the driveway and parked on the parkway.
17) Your mom is so ugly, your daddy brings her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
18) Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole.
19) Your mom is... enough said.
20) Your mom.
21) Your mom would be horribly upset if she knew that you are wasting your life talking about her.
22) Your mom owes me money, you douche!
23) Your mom is a creature from outer space.
24) Your mom is outer space.
25) Your mom once tried satanism, but didn't really like it.
26) Your mom went to prom with Merv the Perv.
27) Your mom is my mom. Am I confusing you?
28) Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through.
29) Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mom.
30) Your mom is so dumb that she put 20 cents in a parking meter and said 'Where the hell is my gumball?'
31) Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move!
32) Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her.
33) Your mom is so ugly, she makes my mom look good.
34) Your mom knows what you do right before going to sleep.
35) Your mom is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.
36) Your mom is like a vacumm, she sucks, she blows and she gets laid in the closet.
37) Wanna know what forever feels like? Try walking around your mom...
38) Your momma is so fat that she went to the beach and animal rights activists tried to push her back in the water.
39) Your mom makes kitty sad...
40) Your mom's moustache makes kitty scared...
41) Your mom is so stupid she tells YOU your mama jokes.
42) Your mom is so stupid she calls you a son-of-a-bitch.
43) Your mom's so ugly that when she stands on the beach the tide wont come in.
44) Your mom's so gay, no he's just gay.
45) Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow.
46) Your Mom has a really nice hat...
47) Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep.
48) Your Mom is like a bowling ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more.
49) Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby.
50) Your Mom thought you were an exceptionally large crap.
51) The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to YOUR mom.
52) Your mom is so ugly that the Devil slapped her for smiling and then gouged his eyes out with his pitchfork.
53) Your mom eats dead babies.
54) Your mom is so fat, she entered a fat contest and won first, second, and third.
55) Your mom is so fat, that when she saw a yellow bus full of white kids go by, she said 'Stop that twinkie!'
56) Your mom was 35 when Jesus was born!
57) Your mom is poop.
58) Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw peanuts at her!
59) Your mom is so emo she saw a run-over squirrel, brought it home, named it George and bragged about it to her whole friends list.
60) Your mom is so fat and emo she cut herself and bled butter.
61) Your mom is so emo the Grim Reaper had to put out a restraining order.
62) Your mom is so fat, that her period is an exclamation mark!
63) Your mom has just read this... ...and she is not amused!
64) Your mom's so stupid she sold her car for gas money.

[Quote="Insults"]
0) I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!
1) I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!
2) You're so dumb you think manual labor is a Mexican!
3) You're so stupid, that you went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
4) You're so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.
5) You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say 'Sorry, no professionals!'
6) You're so ugly your face is closed on weekends!
7) You're so ugly you could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
8) You're so ugly if my dog looked like you, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards!
9) You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mother!
10) Your face is so ugly when you cry the tears run up your face.
11) You're so ugly, your mother had to feed you with a sling shot.
12) You're so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you.
13) You're so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!
14) You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
15) You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!
16) You're so fat, that you have to strap a beeper on your belt to warn people you are backing up.
17) There is one difference between a rooster and your mom. The rooster says cock-a-doodle doo, your mama says any-cock'll do.
18) You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.
19) When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity.
20) You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.
21) When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
22) Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
23) I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
24) I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
25) I think you should live for the moment. But after that I doubt I'll think so.
26) Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
27) I believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
28) You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!
29) I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
30) Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?
31) Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
32) Instant idiot. Just add alcohol.
33) Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
34) Your village just called. They're missing an idiot.
35) Lets play house. You be the door, and I

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

change em a lil they good and make them better xD

i like 55 the twinkie one xD and 17 in insults the best xD

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Quote:

4) Yo momma so ugly, she make blind muthafuckas cry.

lol I should use this one xD

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Quote:

57. Your mom is poop

LOL!?

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

A few were genuinely good - rest were just stupid, as if thought up by 8 year old boys TRYING to sound funny...

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Your mom is so ugly she needs cheats on a date.

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Your mum so dumb, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Quote:

18) You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.

I'm definetly using this one.

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Your mom is so fat, when she walks back you hear "*beep* *beep* *beep*" :0 [like a garbage truck =p ]

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

51) The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to YOUR mom.

LOL! Im using this one

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

20) Your mom.

Wicked. 8)

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

I hate people who use these in an arguement or whatever. Like seriously, what does my mom have to do with the fight?

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Your mom is so fat she fell in love and broke it
Your mom is so poor when i walked into the front door i was in the backyard
Your mom is so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Quote:

Originally Posted by Initiate

I hate people who use these in an arguement or whatever. Like seriously, what does my mom have to do with the fight?

What is it with you and disliking everything you see?

Jesus Christ this is no debate topic, its just a LIST of insults that people find humorous and funny. Jeez, lighten up.

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Disliking everything i see, so far this is the only thread recently (I think)
And plus, its hard for me to lighten up when my mom is brought up because shes the one that brought me into the world and I respect her to much for anyone to say these kind of insults.

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

/bookmarks

Quote:

Originally Posted by Initiate

Disliking everything i see, so far this is the only thread recently (I think)
And plus, its hard for me to lighten up when my mom is brought up because shes the one that brought me into the world and I respect her to much for anyone to say these kind of insults.

I feel sorry for you.

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Quote:

Originally Posted by Initiate

Disliking everything i see, so far this is the only thread recently (I think)
And plus, its hard for me to lighten up when my mom is brought up because shes the one that brought me into the world and I respect her to much for anyone to say these kind of insults.

Dude you take things way to seriously. Yeah. My mum brought me up to. Boohoo, but its jokes like these written out that are not INTENDED to insult anyone. There just here to READ. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to go and say these things. Oh, I've seen a few threads that you've Q.Q in. So don't give me the BS saying this is the only one and point me out to be the bad guy.

I didn't post these to get to everyone's mother. And i highly doubt you'll have anyone in the world to dare say any insult of such above to your mum in the face, so you'll have no trouble.

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Quote:

Originally Posted by Initiate

Disliking everything i see, so far this is the only thread recently (I think)
And plus, its hard for me to lighten up when my mom is brought up because shes the one that brought me into the world and I respect her to much for anyone to say these kind of insults.

Not like this guy is saying this to your mother?
He's just sharing them for those who've actually got a sense of humour, unlike someone :/ ..

also on-topic: some of these are pretty funny, but some of them are just like silly!

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

hahaha i never tire of mum jokes

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

I have got to use some of them :P

Re: [Txt]YourMom & Insults

Quote:

33) Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

I rofled at that.