To everyone who keeps telling me to "go to hell"

I tried. Honestly I did, but to be honest Hell's customer service department is truly shocking.

I had to send Satan himself a message:

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I hear you're the one to talk to about... Well...

Being condemned?

Here's my problem - I requested eternal damnation a few weeks ago and I still haven't received it. I payed a good price for this (my soul!) so I believe I have the right to lodge a complaint.

I've contacted Death's personal office, and he is behind me every step of the way, as is the Soul Sales Department.

Here is a copy of the letter I received from the Soul Sales Deparment:

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Dear RobC1907,

Thankyou for ordering our special offer eternal damnation package. This package does not expire and will be credited to your account immediately. Your eternal damnation package includes the following exciting features!

A two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment, situated in the First Circle of Hell.

Amazing views over the River Styx, with a free boat ride back to the land of the living every other sunday.

A free meal in the Halls of Hades, every day.

Free, backstage access to the upcoming Amy Winehouse concert! The Premature Death Department has her booked for next Tuesday.

And much, much more! You will be able to enjoy the full benefits of the eternal damnation package after one soul, human, is deducted from your account.

Thankyou!

Soul Sales Department,
First Circle,
Hell,
STN 666

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As per the entry requirements my soul has been taken, but the package has not been credited to my account. Is there anything you can do to help me?

Thankyou, RobC1907.

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All I got was a message back telling me to get lost and go to hell :(

go to heaven

No way! You know how much those angel wings cost to rent per hour?

lol, you got ripped off mate!
I have a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom (1 which includes a lava tub with hot bikini devil).

I own hell.

You was robbed.

If you had opted for the 7 wish package you could of wished for all that!

Why Brendan Fraser didn't just wish to marry Elizabeth Hurley I'll never know! Why try get with a semi attractive workmate when there is the uber hot devil woman blatantly wanting you?!?! Dam, with 7 wishes the things I'd do to her! :D

Hey Rob, say hi to Satan for me, he owes me some souls.

I own a condo in Hell, right across the street from Laz's House, and LK lives Right next to Laz's house. Plus God owed me some favors, so I bought some Angel Wings from him, for 2 Bucks, and he made a duplicate of Bill Gate's house for me in Heaven. :D My life is great.

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Originally Posted by buzzfizz

Hey Rob, say hi to Satan for me, he owes me some souls.

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Originally Posted by theninjaway

I own a condo in Hell, right across the street from Laz's House, and LK lives Right next to Laz's house. Plus God owed me some favors, so I bought some Angel Wings from him, for 2 Bucks, and he made a duplicate of Bill Gate's house for me in Heaven. :D My life is great.

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You guys killed it :(

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Originally Posted by Fulzo

You guys killed it :(

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Lol know

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Originally Posted by Fulzo

You guys killed it :(

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Sorry to hear that, I like to kill thingz.

just 3 words

Go To Hell

Yeah i own :P

go to Hell and transform into devil.

http://bp0.blogger.com/_mjv-0TcTrhw/...ush_finger.jpg

Go to Hell.

Arrangements can be made. But there again, I can guarantee nothing.