[TXT] Most Bizarre/Hilarious Suicide

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At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Sciences, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story...

On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide. (He left a note indicating his despondency.) As he passed the 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor level to protect some window washers, and that the decedent would not have been able to complete his intent to commit suicide because of this...

Ordinarily a person who starts into motion the events with a suicide intent ultimately commits suicide even though the mechanism might be not what he intended. That he was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not change his mode of death from suicide to homicide, but the fact that his suicide intent would not have been achieved under any circumstance caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands...

Further investigation led to the discovery that the room on the 9th floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. He was threatening her with the shotgun because of an interspousal spat and became so upset that he could not hold the shotgun straight. Therefore, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking the decedent.

When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. The old man was confronted with this conclusion, but both he and his wife were adamant in stating that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. It was the longtime habit of the old man to threaten his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He had no intent to murder her; therefore, the killing of the decedent appeared then to be accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded...

But further investigation turned up a witness that their son was seen loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal accident. That investigation showed that the mother (the old lady) had cut off her son's financial support, and her son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that the father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus...

Further investigation revealed that the son became increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to get his mother murdered. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a 9th story window.

The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

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Link: http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/joke/suicide.htm

That is amazing!!!

I imagined the whole thing, an Old Guy falling 9 stories above to his death and suddenly before he kills himself another dude headshots him in the head with shotgun. WOW

Well first of all suicide isn't funny, imo.

But this gave me a slight chuckle.

so for all you tl;dr guise:
guy jumps off building
old man tries to shoot wife but misses and shoots the guy who was jumpin' off the building

Of course is funny, when other people do it. They are so dumb, regardless their emotional state, they do it, we deserve to laugh for their stupidity.

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Further investigation revealed that the son became increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to get his mother murdered. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a 9th story window.

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Wait does this mean the Son was Ronald? because the medical examiner examined the body on march 23, So he went to commit suicide only to be shot in the head by his father by a gun that was pointed at the mother to threaten her while in the attempt to kill her the son loaded the gun?....

I'M CONFUSED.

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Originally Posted by Pfa

Link: http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/joke/suicide.htm

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hehe lold at the last part :P

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Originally Posted by Chaos2k3

Wait does this mean the Son was Ronald? because the medical examiner examined the body on march 23, So he went to commit suicide only to be shot in the head by his father by a gun that was pointed at the mother to threaten her while in the attempt to kill her the son loaded the gun?....

I'M CONFUSED.

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The person who had the intention to jump off and commit suicide was because of his mother cutting his financial support and he intended to get her killed by loading the shotgun of which is dad was waiting for the chance to threaten her. When he did this, he jumped, the dad threatened her, couldn't hold it properly, shot the window by accident, it then kill the son as he descended the fall by which he was killed on the 9th floor by his father.

I think that's it.

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Originally Posted by Suicide

The person who had the intention to jump off and commit suicide was because of his mother cutting his financial support and he intended to get her killed by loading the shotgun of which is dad was waiting for the chance to threaten her. When he did this, he jumped, the dad threatened her, couldn't hold it properly, shot the window by accident, it then kill the son as he descended the fall by which he was killed on the 9th floor by his father.

I think that's it.

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That's pretty much it. This is karma to the extreem.