[Sad] Dad is Making Life Tough

This Situation is Actually Happening to me

Before I begin to tell you the story, I'd like to say I have 2 pet birds (they are part of this)
So my dad has tons of diseases, which will last him all his life. So anyways, he doesn't have a job now, and he is miserable.
But what he can do, is play online poker, and that's all he does.
Anyways, so he's been having to take steroids to treat his diseases, which makes him go on outrages.
And in the first place, he wasn't such a nice guy. (Usually)
So my birds just love to chirp. And when my dad is trying to sleep (instead of getting a job) and the birds are squeaking, he goes on an outrage.
And he blames me and my brother for his problems, he just yells at us as it's our fault for all his problems.
And, whenever our internet goes out when he's playing poker, he shuts hi computer, walks right into our room, and yells and cusses at us. Even though he didn't do anything.
He's selfish.
And so I come home today. My birds are chirping so I plan to get them out when I'm done eating. Right when I grab my snack and settle in to relax, he busts into my room and yells at the top of his lungs. Get the birds now! Or I'm giving them away! (That just fcked me off)
And so I say I will when I'm done eating.
Then without thinking he says. maybe they need food also!
(Even though they have bird seed, honey sticks, and millet.
So then he stomps to his room and slams the door.
And so he makes my life hell.
Now I'm here with my birds, letting people know how bad I really have it
Anyways, right now
I can't feel any love for him at all
And now I sit here, crying as I type this.
With no hope of change.
So I need some help getting through this
And, I still want to keep my dad, because somewhere deep inside, I know he's good


Please comment on how you feel about my situation

Aww i feel sorry for you -.- what a father ;(

Thanks, it is pretty tough. Only thing helping me through this is Mom and Bro. Mom can't stand him much anymore either.

I also feel sorry for you. You should call some socual advisors or something like that, your "father" is as crazy idiot.

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Originally Posted by MindbLaster7

I also feel sorry for you. You should call some socual advisors or something like that, your "father" is as crazy idiot.

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Please, don't call him that. He just has problems, but he takes them out on us, even when we support him.
Sadly, he mostly takes it out on me, not my brother.

Speak to someone in your family like your grandparents or something this is what I would do personally.

I feel sorry for you. Personally if I were to be in this situation I would have to talk to someone. Talking to my mother and brother wouldn't be enough because they probably don't know the hurt and the pain you're in if he takes most of his anger out on you. Not saying that they don't see it happening, I would talk to someone that could relate to you more or less. I personally know how you feel, when I was younger 8~9 I was abused by my "father" (I don't call him that because he's a piece of shit). He's in jail now, but forget about me. I would ask your mom to get you a counselor, even if you can't do that, get out the house sometimes. Hang over at your friends house for most of the day, or when your dad is yelling at you. I understand the disease he has is causing him to have "outbursts" so to speak, but maybe try ignoring him (if you haven't done so already).

It's hard to give you advice, because we're not living in that moment as you are going through what you specifically are going through. I wish you the best, and it's good that you continue to support your dad, and love him.

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Originally Posted by MentaL

Speak to someone in your family like your grandparents or something this is what I would do personally.

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I would feel weird telling grandparents about it. I'm gonna try to talk with my mom, or maybe some friends.
Thanks for advice.
Off topic: Which of the guys in your band picture is you?

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Originally Posted by Aaron

I feel sorry for you. Personally if I were to be in this situation I would have to talk to someone. Talking to my mother and brother wouldn't be enough because they probably don't know the hurt and the pain you're in if he takes most of his anger out on you. Not saying that they don't see it happening, I would talk to someone that could relate to you more or less. I personally know how you feel, when I was younger 8~9 I was abused by my "father" (I don't call him that because he's a piece of shit). He's in jail now, but forget about me. I would ask your mom to get you a counselor, even if you can't do that, get out the house sometimes. Hang over at your friends house for most of the day, or when your dad is yelling at you. I understand the disease he has is causing him to have "outbursts" so to speak, but maybe try ignoring him (if you haven't done so already).

It's hard to give you advice, because we're not living in that moment as you are going through what you specifically are going through. I wish you the best, and it's good that you continue to support your dad, and love him.

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Thanks for the help. I think I'm just gonna talk it out with my friends and avoid him.
P.S.: I'm sorry you lost your dad to jail, I wouldn't be able to make it through losing my dad, even if he does this to me.
Also, if you post a story about you're dad, I'd love to read it.

ive seen this alot working with people that will project their anger that they are feeling on to others. your father is feeling helpless, living with a problem that he knows will either kill him, or haunt him until he finally has no strength left to fight.

i understand that you feel helpless also. you say your father is fighting different diseases, so i cannot speculate which ones he may currently have, but the battle raging on in his body has left him feeling hopeless. you say he should be looking for a job, but depending on what is going on inside your fathers head and body, that might not be something he can do at the moment.

the best thing to do here would be to either talk to someone you trust, a family member or a counselor and talk to them. you may just need to open your eyes more to what your father may be going through.
a counselor would be best, as they would be able to give you some practical applications of ways to talk to your father, to let him know how you feel. communication is the key to any relationship, including those with your family.

i hope that you will take my advice, and that you will find the happiness you and your family deserve in these dark times.

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Originally Posted by maplepuppet

Thanks for the help. I think I'm just gonna talk it out with my friends and avoid him.
P.S.: I'm sorry you lost your dad to jail, I wouldn't be able to make it through losing my dad, even if he does this to me.
Also, if you post a story about you're dad, I'd love to read it.

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You're welcome. I wouldn't be sorry because he's a total jerk, and I really don't like talking about the story because it's a little personal. Anyways, he's in jail for 15 years for 2nd Degree Abuse/Sexual Harassment for a kid under the age of 12 (or 13 I can't remember the sentence age), but it's somewhere around there. The sentence should basically explain to you what happened. It was me, and my two sisters.

I think the best place for him to be is in prison. No one in prison likes child abusers, and molesters, so he got what he deserved. ;P

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Originally Posted by Aaron

You're welcome. I wouldn't be sorry because he's a total jerk, and I really don't like talking about the story because it's a little personal. Anyways, he's in jail for 15 years for 2nd Degree Abuse/Sexual Harassment for a kid under the age of 12 (or 13 I can't remember the sentence age), but it's somewhere around there. The sentence should basically explain to you what happened. It was me, and my two sisters.

I think the best place for him to be is in prison. No one in prison likes child abusers, and molesters, so he got what he deserved. ;P

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Dude... I'm sorry. That must have been hard to handle.
Anyways, thanks for help.

Well hes just having this problem because of his Health issues but if you and your family take some time and have some fun with him. He will probably wont be as grumpy as now, though for someone to have a health issue for rest of his life is horrible and you cant blame him for acting this way. Just spend some time with him and talk about other things when you see him (besides his health issue)

I'm extremely surprised not one person has typed "lol" or "gtfo" yet.
Amazing. o_o

If he gets to the point where he abuses you, you really should do something about it. Only stating this because it seems like that would be the next step in his "plan" (quotes since I dont believe he's actually planning this..) that would be likely to happen.

Sorry for your troubles right now.

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Originally Posted by Chelseaa

I'm extremely surprised not one person has typed "lol" or "gtfo" yet.
Amazing. o_o

If he gets to the point where he abuses you, you really should do something about it. Only stating this because it seems like that would be the next step in his "plan" (quotes since I dont believe he's actually planning this..) that would be likely to happen.

Sorry for your troubles right now.

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He isnt abusing him, hes only shouting at him like every father does but just a little too far.

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Originally Posted by Jamie

He isnt abusing him, hes only shouting at him like every father does but just a little too far.

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You have no friking idea how it goes. He doesn't even friking care about me anymore. He doesn't not at all.
One time he couldn't find the battery to the remote so he said I took it and blamed me.
So I talked back saying I didn't and he said no games at all!!!! You better not touch a game until you give me the battery!!! As if I could do anything.
Lucky for me, my mom walked out of her room, told him to shut up, and gave him some betteries before he started taking it too far.

You have no idea.

There isn't much you can do exept bite your tongue about it atm, whatever your going through - he's most probably feeling twice as shitty, the medical steroids only calm the aggression of the disease down a fair bit but not completely (I've even had a month+ course of them) and it does cause really bad mood swings (probably depends on his ammount he has to take per day). So your probably best to talk to your family first, and probably some councilers about it and then talk to your dad about it you need to be careful what to say to because another side effect they told me about was you can get pretty bad depression from them. Just remember it's the medicine making him like this not neccessarily his personality. Another reason is because he's stuck in the house 24/7, I'm not sure about anyone else but if I was stuck in the same place for a long period of time I'd start getting pissed off and reacting badly to it too or the fact not having a job could be effecting his pride, he also has to depend upon your mother which most men would hate in most cultures.

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Originally Posted by maplepuppet

You have no friking idea how it goes. He doesn't even friking care about me anymore. He doesn't not at all.
One time he couldn't find the battery to the remote so he said I took it and blamed me.
So I talked back saying I didn't and he said no games at all!!!! You better not touch a game until you give me the battery!!! As if I could do anything.
Lucky for me, my mom walked out of her room, told him to shut up, and gave him some betteries before he started taking it too far.

You have no idea.

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Hes your dad and he took his time raising you, he also supported you in school and cooked for you in the past. He cares for you but now that he has health issues he will act this way. I doubt you would be as happy as you are right now when you catch a disease

He's always been kind of mean though. But his parents were evil to him, he actually ran from home and lived with his brother.

http://www.kidshelpphone.com/

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Originally Posted by maplepuppet

He's always been kind of mean though. But his parents were evil to him, he actually ran from home and lived with his brother.

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Since your father actually talks to you about his life then of course he doesn't want you to suffer like how he did. Father and Son is very important and should always talk it out with each other.

be strong, it wont always be like this :)

Dude, these are your problems and im not trying to be an ass but a forum isnt going to help you. you may look up to many people here but in the end its all about what you do and how you handle it. i say you talk to your dad about it. if that doesnt work a therapist works just as well

Yeah, that wasn't funny at all. This isn't exactly the thread where you want to be cracking jokes about stuff like that.

He's just asking for advice, nothing wrong with that.

Tell your dad to stop taking steriods because they wont help his disease, he has to go see a doctor

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Originally Posted by Chelseaa

I'm extremely surprised not one person has typed "lol" or "gtfo" yet.
Amazing. o_o

If he gets to the point where he abuses you, you really should do something about it. Only stating this because it seems like that would be the next step in his "plan" (quotes since I dont believe he's actually planning this..) that would be likely to happen.

Sorry for your troubles right now.

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This is the outerworld section. There should be no reason for people to says "lol" or "gtfo", especially with it being a real issue going on in someone's life.

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Originally Posted by acenima

Tell your dad to stop taking steriods because they wont help his disease, he has to go see a doctor

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Actually steroids do help with some diseases. They increase your heart rate though if your dose is too much, they lead to strokes/heart attacks if not used right. :P: