Friend who has issues right now.

People who are wondering what this topic is about. Recently (today), I found out that my friend is now homeless, and a ward of the state. (I live in the United States). Her parents abandoned her, because she is a "trouble" child. She cracked, crying, and screaming in misery in the hallway, about 30 minutes ago. The school administration took her down to see our school shrink. Her name is Toni.

She really needs support from everyone, and I've showed her this site. She likes the community, and I've also showed her Succbi, whom she enjoys listening to.

So, if possible, can you please make a post supporting her? She really needs it. Even if its a "It'll work itself out", it would be appreiciated. I plan to print out this thread at the end of the period, which is at 12:06 PM, EST.

Thank you very much, if you post. She'll really appreciate it.

Honestly, how are the postings of people online whom she does not know nor will she ever meet affect her in any way?

There are MANY things she can do in this situation, my girlfriend for one has been in this exact situation twice now and oddly enough her name is also Toni. She wants support? For what? To tell her to keep going? To tell her everything is going to be OK? No, it will not be OK unless she goes and does something about it, and if she needs the support of people online she does not know to convince her to do something, she has lost all hope already.

Go get a part time job. Pay for your own rent at your own house. Live with someone else. Share a rental with someone. the list goes on. but if she does not have the will to do it then words of support form strangers is going to do nothing.

She can't live with anyone else or get a job. Her mom fed the court with lies.

Hello,

My name is Amir chelf and i too also experienced what your friend is experiencing right now. All i can tell to your friend is to hold on tight. You may carry a lots of burdens today or tomorrow but it will just past as long as you hold on and keep the life rolling. I remember my self staying at a Bakeshop in not far distance from my parents house. I don't have a choice so i volunteer to sell bread so that they can feed me free. I was 10-11 years old that time and i don't have any friend to lean on.

The reason why i'm in that bakeshop is because i was really a trouble child, always on the net shop trying to do my best to score by stabbing Counter-Terrorist team on the Game Counter-Strike (lol). Well in short i was really an addict player, that time personal computer is pretty much expensive in our country so we can only afford on the Net Shop.

I still got plenty of stories in my life but all i can say is, hey, i'm still here and i still have a chance to change things to what i want it to be. Where can i be happy and what can i do to make me happy. I mean the real happiness that i can treasure forever.

I tried to change and make it up to my parents. And now somehow they are proud of me.

I hope it will work out on you soon, even if your parents wont accept you anymore. You can still do many things. Life is unpredictable and simply amazing.

And my request for a Life section was denied, hm.

Anyways, I doubt what your mom said in court could prevent her from doing any kind of work possible. That's something she probably needs to be doing, working to keep her mind off of things and help her get a start back in life. I send her my greatest wishes and sorrows, I can only imagine what it would be like to be abandoned without warning because my parents didn't like me.

Does she have somewhere she can stay, in return for helping the sheltering family out somehow? There's another way to help her.

In all, Rishwin is right -- nothing will help her change if she doesn't take the steps to open the door. It may sound harsh and impossible to her right now, but that needs to be her ultimate ASAP goal to get to, as it probably will determine her future.

Good luck to her, and tell her what we've said -- she needs to hear it.

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Originally Posted by Chelseaa

And my request for a Life section was denied, hm.

Anyways, I doubt what your mom said in court could prevent her from doing any kind of work possible. That's something she probably needs to be doing, working to keep her mind off of things and help her get a start back in life. I send her my greatest wishes and sorrows, I can only imagine what it would be like to be abandoned without warning because my parents didn't like me.

Does she have somewhere she can stay, in return for helping the sheltering family out somehow? There's another way to help her.

In all, Rishwin is right -- nothing will help her change if she doesn't take the steps to open the door. It may sound harsh and impossible to her right now, but that needs to be her ultimate ASAP goal to get to, as it probably will determine her future.

Good luck to her, and tell her what we've said -- she needs to hear it.

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I agree somewhat with what Rishwin said. But she is trying. Every thing. I'm researching the law now for ways to combat this. I will not lose another friend. I've known Toni for almost 3 years. The only thing is, is that Toni IS 18. And her mom still managed to abondon her to the state. And get her in trouble.

Well, at least as a friend you're trying to help her. If you loan anything and expect a return, well, don't expect anything for awhile. (Just mentioning this because a lot of cases on Judge Judy go along that line. :P) But maybe get a job with her, or help her get a job where you work. Maybe if she works around friends then she would do better off at making herself something of what's left.

What a mother to do such an act.

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Originally Posted by Chelseaa

Well, at least as a friend you're trying to help her. If you loan anything and expect a return, well, don't expect anything for awhile. (Just mentioning this because a lot of cases on Judge Judy go along that line. :P) But maybe get a job with her, or help her get a job where you work. Maybe if she works around friends then she would do better off at making herself something of what's left.

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If I loan her something, I don't expect anything back. I know shes on hard times. I'm going to print this thread out early. Unless someone has something else to say.

I know what your trying to do here but
its rather comforting then 1 friend in real life and when I say friend I do mean REAL friend who supports you in all times, then 1000 guys one doesn't know online saying ''Hold on, you'll get it good'''.
Best things for now is you support her.
Help her out maybe let her crash at your house for a few days, get a job and get a small place to sleep and things will get better BUT she HAS to do it on her own ofcourse with a little help added by you and some of her other friends. Trust me.
Its in times like these we get stronger and learn more of ourselves.
Its gonna be a hard and bumpy road but when its done she'll be happier then ever.
Would you be smiling for sunshine if there was no rain?

She is 18. That makes her an adult. Her mother is NOT obligated to do anything more for her, nor can she say or do anything which would prevent her from getting a job or a house. Why exactly are courts involved anyway?

To begin with, why is she 18 and without a job? She was expecting her mother to give her a free ride her entire life? Most people have a job by 15, some by 13. By 18 they can afford to move out of house by themselves.

Can't live with anyone else? no, more like "nobody is willing to let her stay with them". The mere fact that you a "friend" is saying this clearly shows that you also are not willing to have her stay with you.

Any sympathy we had to begin with is pretty much gone when you say she's 18. that makes her an adult able to make her own decisions. NOBODY can stop her from getting a house or a job as an adult, not even her parents. She is using her mother as an excuse.

Yes what i'm saying sounds harsh, and people who have not experienced it will not understand but will instead just feel sad for the person and offer them kind words. Once you experience homelessness, you know that it is not something that just happens. Once homeless there is alot of things you can do, a lot of ways to get back on your feet. Only those who are not willing or have no will to put in effort get left behind in the gutters.

Feel bad for your friend? My girlfriend went through the exact same thing when she was 17 and to make things worse, she had absolutely no family or relative in the same state. Her closest relative was a 7 hour flight away. She was evicted form her home AND she lost her job in the same week. She stayed at my house for a few days and within the week had a new job and had a place to live. That happened because she was determined to do something about it and didn't lie around feeling sorry for herself.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rishwin

She is 18. That makes her an adult. Her mother is NOT obligated to do anything more for her, nor can she say or do anything which would prevent her from getting a job or a house. Why exactly are courts involved anyway?

To begin with, why is she 18 and without a job? She was expecting her mother to give her a free ride her entire life? Most people have a job by 15, some by 13. By 18 they can afford to move out of house by themselves.

Can't live with anyone else? no, more like "nobody is willing to let her stay with them". The mere fact that you a "friend" is saying this clearly shows that you also are not willing to have her stay with you.

Any sympathy we had to begin with is pretty much gone when you say she's 18. that makes her an adult able to make her own decisions. NOBODY can stop her from getting a house or a job as an adult, not even her parents. She is using her mother as an excuse.

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Have you seen that show sweet sixteen on MTV?
I didn't see she was 18 but now I think I know what kinda girl she is.

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Originally Posted by Vision

What a mother to do such an act.

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Her's/
I hopeit will all become a happy ending in the end.
You may hve a few downs, but I'm sure you can hold on tight!
Keep in there bud!

Mhm, fresh new meat for the porn industry.

But to be serious, if she's not 18 yet she must have some kind of parent who can offer warmth, food and such. It's a human right, and she should demand that the authorities gets her that. If not, the news will love it.

Edit:

Noticed she was 18. Get her to move in with you and help her get some kind of job.

Edit2:

She can demand compensation because of lack of help from child services during her youth, which seems to be the case. I think.

Well, if she lives in the US then there are plenty of homeless shelters normally. I've eatten at a few with friends before and they make decent food.
If she needs shelter she can find one of those women's shelters and I can almost guarantee they'll take her in. There are worse things than being homeless. I've opened my house to a few friends who were kicked out. She must be able to get a job if she is not a dependent anymore.
1. Get work somewhere
2. Live off the shelter till
3. Slum it up in the g-hetto
If she needs transportation then take the bus. If there's no bus then steal a bike (not joking).

Welfare is your friend in this instance. If this was in private I would give a few more tips of advice on how I would handle the situation but I get the feeling I'll jut get smeared here on the board lol

Time for real hard life, better cope quick.
Hell I just got done dropping off applications at about 5 places and was essentially given a job on the spot. Better yet, she ought to be working two jobs.

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Originally Posted by Wh005h

Welfare is your friend in this instance. If this was in private I would give a few more tips of advice on how I would handle the situation but I get the feeling I'll jut get smeared here on the board lol

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I agree with what you didn't say.