heres a few:
What do you call 2 lawyers dead at the bottom of the ocean?
A nice start.
Your trapped in an elevator with a lion, a tiger, and a lawyer. You have a gun with 2 bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he is dead.
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heres a few:
What do you call 2 lawyers dead at the bottom of the ocean?
A nice start.
Your trapped in an elevator with a lion, a tiger, and a lawyer. You have a gun with 2 bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he is dead.
I heard the last joke like this:
Sadaam, Bin laden, and Bill Gates are all in an elevator and you have a gun with only two bullets. Who do you shoot? Bill gates...twice
LOLZ!!!!
post more!
or I will *evil grin*
1.One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"
Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he said, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a lawyer.
2.A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"
"Four dollars an ounce."
"How much for lawyer brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
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A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed.
A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!"
The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!"
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How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
Three--one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
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Class beyond measure!!! : :thumbup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Allocura
rofl i love lawyer jokes
HEHHEHEHE lawyers suxor
Your on a role with the jokes lol
lol
loving the jokes, might have to take these and show to a few ppl ^^
Actually never heard that much lawyer jokes lol