[txt] Jokes I found on Facebook!

Here are a few Jokes I found on Facebook;

Dad: Ok son, It time we had "The Talk"
Son: Oh dont worry dad, i know all about sex, i learnt it at school.
Dad: Oh i wasnt talking about Sex...
Son: Well what were you talking about? ...
Dad: Ok let me say it in a easier way, YOUR ADOPTED
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"mum..." , "Yes" ,"NANS ON PAGE 3 AGAIN!"
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Police: why where you speeding?
Man: i had a cramp in my leg, sorry officer.
Police: i am going to give you a fine for speeding.
Man: omgggg here comes that cramp agian! cyaa (:
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5 missed calls from your mate, you missed a good party last night.
5 missed calls from your best friend, they want to hang out.
5 missed calls from your girlfriend, she wants to talk.
5 missed calls from your Mum, YOUR FUCKED!!!!
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Every group of friends has, the good looking, the horny, the sarcastic, who is always in a relationship, the nerd, the negitive, the always drunk,
the optimistic, the athlete, the attention seeker and right now in your head i bet your picking your friends :P xo
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*Nan Cocks Gun* LETS GO SHOOT SOME ZOMBIES! (Shoots innocent civilians) - Later that day... - Little Kid: Excuse me old lady, they're not zombies - Nan: STFU ZOMBIE! *Blows little kids head off*
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10 cunts came at me lastnight... they didn't know i have nan on speed dial and she lives down the road, guess what, 10 cunts are in hospital now.
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Some of those jokes are funny but some are fucked up. ;)

Forgot thread tag, other than that, some of them aren't too bad (;

I like the 5 missed calls thing :)

LOL...I laughed at the dad joke xD

Lol, I didn't think these were too great, but it inspired me to go find some on my own. This was the funniest one I found in 3 minutes of web searching.

~ A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” ~

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sharky

Lol, I didn't think these were too great, but it inspired me to go find some on my own. This was the funniest one I found in 3 minutes of web searching.

~ A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” ~

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LoL'D XD

ADOPTED...

-Son, when to the corner and fucked mum-

:D

Yeah the 5 missed calls was funny!
the friends group description is seriously....soooo true!
oh and that speed dial thing was funny > if you actually get it

Quote:

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Originally Posted by banzaiutd

ADOPTED...

-Son, when to the corner and fucked mum-

:D

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omg D:

I didn't find any of those funny.

I love these jokes. Whenever I get bored, I'll go through some pages and have a laugh, though some are just... meh

^^ Lets Say Some are GAY and Some are Funny :)

Lol This was awesome xD