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lol post here the funniest stuff u've heard ppl say while they were drunk
or stoned/high.
mine would be wen my friend chased after a mosquito and kept shoutin: "here fishie fishie fishie!!!" while he was swinging a rock tied to string (he thought it was his pet dog)
then he ran into a poll and knocked himself out :wolfwood:
hahhahaha
best one is:
"Occifer *hiccup* I swear to drunk I'm not God."
"You're drunk"
"And you're ugly, but i'll be sober in the morning"
funniest thing in the world was after clubbing and drinking heavily my friend paul cooper had his dad call him asking him where he was at and if he was drunk.
paul absolutely steaming to hell, probably count even see straight replied with "im mr cooper and im in control"
it was frikkin hilarious the way his drunken slur came out
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoPeace
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoPeace
Best.
one tonight, me and my mate have been on can pipes
went shop... bought a bottle of coke
shop bitch: its £1.50 for 2 special offer
me: right I'll go get it
my mate: can I have a lucozade
I wer giggling so much, the shop bitch just went you looked stoned mate
another...
we robbed a bag of coal from a petrol station about 5 in the morn I wer pissed as fuck
the bag ended up burstin as we got up the road coal was all over the road
cop van pull up to us
copper: whys ther coal all over the road lads?
my mate: the bags burst... but we didnt pay for it
classic
Best things when you're in school class just been blazin at lunch and u have a fat ugly ginger maths teacher talkin to u, just burst out laughing
rofl! Classic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nik-C
[QUOTE=Nik-C]one tonight, me and my mate have been on can pipes
went shop... bought a bottle of coke
shop bitch: its
Funniest thing ive said while drunk was...
I was trying to reason with my friends and make a serious point (which is what made it weirder) "Seriously it's so much easyer to see what your doing and walk around n stuff when you have only one eye open... Whats the point in having two?" As i said that i walked into a lampost n my friend said... "because you have no depth perception you dickhead"
i swear thers now blood in my alchohol content
and "the warms not air yet" i was treying to say the airs not warm for u people out thger
btw im preetty far offff right noww i only have 1 week be 4 igo to bootcamp for th United States Marine Corps, ooo yay, lol, i am so exticted, parrrtyy me and my friends are drunk as heell, and i want to check out whats goin on]
random man: ok m8 u go down the stairs and round the corner and keep goin till u come to the door u cant miss it
Me: oh thx m8... ok were will that take me
Random man: oh crap wasnt u
haha forgot bout this 1
"Was i any good" hahahah
Tbh I really can't remember anything after drink but getting I can remember some the best phrase so far is "Bumwillydribble!" or maybe "Titwankerwhoolyboobies!" :D classics.
-Mattio
since im...young, i dont have many "shit-faced drunk" experiences, but heres one situation with my friend
me: man are you feeling ok? do you want to go?
him: yeah yeah im ok, no prob
me: are you sure?
him: yes yes im just fine!
*pass out*
Wasnt drunk, well I'd had a few but Tup jus reminded me of one time I hadnt had sex for like 4 month and I had sex with this girl and I lasted like 5 minutes lol. After I came I said "I'm not even gunna ask you if you enjoyed that but I thought it was fucking ace"
a few weeks ago i was completely stoned with a mate and we were just walkin round the streets randomly and startied chatting so much shit and then somehow ended up talking about the mating habits of pigmies.
oh and laughing at the word armadillo in the same voice as the guy from the old Dime bar adverts.
ARMADILLO! Crunchy on the outside, Chewy on the inside! ARMADILLO!Quote:
Originally Posted by Flameingskull
I don't even have to be drunk to laugh at that!
Lol!!
i cant remember the realy funny stuff but ill tell ya some of teh stuff i remember :)
- we were drinkin vodka and 2 cops came... so my m8 comes to 1 and sais (iv'e translated it from russian) "hey dude (thought it was me) want some of this? (holding the bottle)" so the cop looks at him and sais "everything is understood (understanding that we are tottaly drunk)" than they left and we all began to laugh i dont remember why.
- we were drinking (again) and my m8s got so drunk that they fell on the floor, said they were cold (34C at july in israel) and covered themselves with my carpet.
(Illl attach 2 pics of my drunk m8s that night when i find em somewhere on my cellphone :-])
- so my dad calls... i pick up the phone when my m8 sais cheers... and my dad asks what are we drinkin... and i was like ohh crap im dead :)
- same party... girls father wants 2 enter teh house 2 c if everything is ok... so stupid me...I started screaming like crazy "HIDE THE VODKA"... of course the father hearing it... then he left with the girl (o_O) and we like fell on the floor from laughter after we realized what i just said......yep... this is prolly the funniest thing happened 2 us.
--EDIT--
i found the pics :) brings back sweet memories. (really bad quality cause if night and i made the shot with a cellphone so...)
P.S
it may not be funny 2 u but i swear those were the funnies moments of my life (and the drunkest cause i remember waking up with a huge hangover)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flameingskull
rofl i remember that!
bro all i can say is ROFLQuote:
Originally Posted by neo13
So true! :icon6:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ionic & Schizo
I have been piss ass drunk once and don't remeber anything I said. And I have been slightly drunk and thought I was obi wan. Called up my mate and had a big argument about it. :glare:
NoPeace - out
Wow there's some major piss heads on here aint there? :D
-Mattio