I need help to code my Website

Hello I need help to code my website, if you can show me some tutorial.

What can you already do?
Html? PHP? Java? etc.

If you cant do anything then I suggest you use google to find tutorials in how to make an HTML Website. And after that you can search for Tutorials about PHP/Database

Will the help section ever become less retarded?

Take a look at w3schools it's a very useful website to learn basic web developing! Best would be (in my opinion) to learn at the following order:

1. (X)HTML
2. CSS(3)
3. Javascript (you could also learn PHP and SQL before Javascript depends on your goals)
4. PHP
5. SQL

From there on you could take a look at OOP PHP and frameworks but you should fully learn the basics first.