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Does anyone know anyone who has survived cancer or lost someone to cancer?

Junior Spellweaver
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Yeah, well the title asks the 2 questions I'm wondering.

I'm only wondering 'cause my dad who is 48 is now losing his fight to cancer as it's been around 3-4 months.

He found out Sunday that one of his lungs collapsed and is currently running on one lung and looking shittier than ever, he probably weighs 80LB's and is approx. 6' tall.

It's just crappy seeing someone whom you love like this and knowing they only got a few weeks to live (possibly).

I was offered to stay the night at his place but I wasn't able to due to the fact of me nearly getting teary eyed every time I saw him and how upset my stomach was. I just hope I don't regret this in the next few days, does this make me a bad son?

Should I have stayed with him?

Just need re-assurance is all.

Thank you people of RaGEZONE.

Feel free to tell your stories of friends/family whom have fought it or whom you have lost, only if you're comfortable.
 
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You will find that pretty much everyone will know someone who has had cancer, and who has died of cancer. friend of mine died at 15 from cancer. Grandma died of cancer. grandfather had cancer 4 times. Other grandma had cancer, friends granddad died of cancer.

You need to remember that however hard it is for you it is harder for him. Be strong for him, because if you cant be strong, how can he try to be strong? At the end of the day its his life on the edge of life. you don't want his last memory of you being sad. You want his last memory of you to be happy. Life is short. Its too short to spend it dwelling on the crappier sides of life. Play games with him, chill with him. Have a laugh. you only have a few weeks to go...
 
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Stay with him, whatever happens. You don't want to screw up his last moments (if they're his last, that is).

Friend died of lung cancer. He spent his last few months chain smoking even though he was a non-smoker, joked he was happy to do whatever the duck he wanted. All of my friends got around to watch . The last scene really hit us and we got sad as hell.
 
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The friend I was speaking about also started up his own charity while he was ill . Even though he looks really ill he still made an effort to be happy for everyone else.
 
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Smile. You do not want your Dad to get even more upset by seeing you being weak and crying.
I know that this really hard to to. Maybe your smile might give him some courage and make him feel better.

I hope your dad gets better soon.
 
Junior Spellweaver
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Thank's for the support guys, and Becca; I'm sorry to here that.. Same goes with you Arcelor. It really all does suck, but I'm trying my hardest, possibly going to see him this weekend, the meds he's taking makes him sleepy about 90% of the time so the pain won't bother him that much anymore.

But again, thank-you guys. It really does mean a lot.
 
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Yes, my great uncle (mums uncle) was diagnosed with Bowel cancer in about 2010/11ish, he has had about 12-15 ops and a few treatments of chemotherapy, successfully removing all of it twice and then the cancer came back again, right now I believe he is cancer free. After all the operations and treatment he still remains happy and cheerful, well probably one of the most positive people I know.

You've just got to be strong throughout the whole process and reassure that them that'll you will be with them. Stay strong op
 
Junior Spellweaver
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Yes, my great uncle (mums uncle) was diagnosed with Bowel cancer in about 2010/11ish, he has had about 12-15 ops and a few treatments of chemotherapy, successfully removing all of it twice and then the cancer came back again, right now I believe he is cancer free. After all the operations and treatment he still remains happy and cheerful, well probably one of the most positive people I know.

You've just got to be strong throughout the whole process and reassure that them that'll you will be with them. Stay strong op

That's a lucky man, my dad has lung cancer (why one of his lungs collapsed) bone cancer, and some or 1 cancerous tumour(s) in his head. And that sounds like my dad, he's a little smart butt now, and he knows it; which gives it a sort of cheerful environment.
 
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I cannot understand with all the technology we have, the smart people, what so ever.. That we've got a disease which is extremely difficult to cure (note: More and more patients are actually losing their cancer. I haven't seen one example in my life, though).

From my fathers side my grandpa died, he had lung cancer. He didn't die from lung cancer though, which is weird. He fought nearly a year against that disease. He almost died because of it. But, he managed to survive the cancer. Less than a week later, when he was cancer free, he died because of he had a heart disease (which is a disease that goes around in my family. Which means, I need to get myself checked regularly). However, my fathers grandfather died because of cancer, so did HIS father and mother.

The last 5 years I've lost acquaintances due to cancer. Lung cancer, bone cancer, tumor in the brains, cancer around the whole body. It's a pain to see people leaving the world this way. But, for some reason they all seemed to appreciate life more than I do. I respect them for that. I do not have any words to describe how weak I am compared to those. It's hard to describe my feelings about those .. happenings.. (?)

At this moment a lady who had an important position in my life in raising me up, was determed to have cancer. Two years ago. In the meantime, she had been cancer free after being ill for so many times, so many chemos, etc. But it kept coming back and it is back right now. She's living every day as her last, because she cannot be helped anymore. She has cancer all around her body. Yet she's extremely strong, doing a lot of activities with her kids (who are extremely young). It's beautiful to see how she's living life these days. I've got a huge respect for her.

Right now a friend of me, who'm is 15 (I'm 19, but I'm doing some child work with him. As I'm a Christian, so is he, we're taking care of the kids in our church on Sunday) has got bone cancer since two months. One leg of him has to be amputated. He had a lot of chemos and other therapies to fight the cancer. It's extremely difficult to see him suffer from the disease. Seriously, three months ago he was still healthy. Playing hide and seek with some kids. Laughing with them, running with them.. And right now, he's extremely ill and is about to lose one leg.

About your question, if you are a bad son.. No. A father doesn't like his child to cry about him. My father didn't sleep at my grandfather in the hospital. My grandfather absolutely hated his son to see his son crying about him. It made him more depressed. My father however did sleep over when things got extremely bad. My father got strong and didn't cry anymore. Instead, he helped him and made his life absolutely beautiful when his last days were being counted.

Hearing about the disease has changed my life. I hear about that disease way too often. I can't wait to hear the message "cancer is 100% curable!". Cancer will be equal to a small cold. You need medicines, and it's gone. I am trying to respect life more and more. We're extremely vulnerable.

I hope the best for your father, you and his family. It is extremely difficult to see someone suffering. Especially someone who you love so much.


 
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Cancer is the second biggest killer in the USA and like the 4th in the UK, it is pretty fucked up. The biggest things we can do to stop it are diet related, next up is probably exercise and mental attitude. I've lost lots of friends and family to cancer, but I also have a handful who have survived. The ones who survived followed the science above and applied it as they could, some without any drugs, chemo or radio"therapy". The ones who've died that I got to speak to never got any nutritional push from their doctors, it can be worth reading up on.
 
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You need to remember that however hard it is for you it is harder for him. Be strong for him, because if you cant be strong, how can he try to be strong? At the end of the day its his life on the edge of life. you don't want his last memory of you being sad. You want his last memory of you to be happy. Life is short. Its too short to spend it dwelling on the crappier sides of life. Play games with him, chill with him. Have a laugh. you only have a few weeks to go...
Smile. You do not want your Dad to get even more upset by seeing you being weak and crying.
I know that this really hard to to. Maybe your smile might give him some courage and make him feel better.
About your question, if you are a bad son.. No. A father doesn't like his child to cry about him. My father didn't sleep at my grandfather in the hospital. My grandfather absolutely hated his son to see his son crying about him. It made him more depressed. My father however did sleep over when things got extremely bad. My father got strong and didn't cry anymore. Instead, he helped him and made his life absolutely beautiful when his last days were being counted.
Why are you guys relating being strong with not crying? What kind of nonsense is that. Crying is fine. Imagine being his dad, you're probably dying of cancer, you know your son is hurting really bad, yet he's putting on fake smiles and pretending to be all right. Would you want this?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should be depressed the whole time, but so what if you cry. Cry while you tell him you don't want to lose him, cry while you bring up good memories etc.
This world where we live in where crying is seen as a weakness, is complete and utter poop. Obviously you want to keep an positive attitude, but his dad ain't stupid, he knows it's bad, at least share your emotions with him now, he will feel loved for it.
 
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Why are you guys relating being strong with not crying? What kind of nonsense is that. Crying is fine. Imagine being his dad, you're probably dying of cancer, you know your son is hurting really bad, yet he's putting on fake smiles and pretending to be all right. Would you want this?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should be depressed the whole time, but so what if you cry. Cry while you tell him you don't want to lose him, cry while you bring up good memories etc.
This world where we live in where crying is seen as a weakness, is complete and utter poop. Obviously you want to keep an positive attitude, but his dad ain't stupid, he knows it's bad, at least share your emotions with him now, he will feel loved for it.
I don't see anything in my post that makes you think I said anything like "crying is a weakness".

Anyway. I'm not a father, I do not know how I would respond in such situations. But I wouldn't want my son to be crying about me when I'm sick. I'd rather see him happy. However, it doesn't matter in what situation, I do would like to have him near me, crying or not.
 
Junior Spellweaver
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Well, he passed away when I was at his house, would much rather not explain it at all really, but at least I was able to see him even though he was in an enduced comma.
 
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Why are you guys relating being strong with not crying? What kind of nonsense is that. Crying is fine. Imagine being his dad, you're probably dying of cancer, you know your son is hurting really bad, yet he's putting on fake smiles and pretending to be all right. Would you want this?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should be depressed the whole time, but so what if you cry. Cry while you tell him you don't want to lose him, cry while you bring up good memories etc.
This world where we live in where crying is seen as a weakness, is complete and utter poop. Obviously you want to keep an positive attitude, but his dad ain't stupid, he knows it's bad, at least share your emotions with him now, he will feel loved for it.
Never at any point did I say crying is bad. If I was dying, and it was inevitable I wouldn't want my family grieving for me before I have actually died. I would want to enjoy the little time I have left on the planet with the people I love. There will be times when everyone cries. Dying sucks.
 
Junior Spellweaver
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Guys, common! Crying is fine no matter what. End of story, but that's my opinion, just don't start a debate about it.
 
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I am sorry about your loss. My deepest condolences to you.
 
Junior Spellweaver
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Thank-you for all your support, but it's funny how one post can change everyone's view on you.

'Cause as I recall Becca called me an idiot child and exclamatio called me a young lady, not trying to start anything it's just weird how people act on the internet.. :/
 
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