- Joined
- Sep 10, 2003
- Messages
- 14,210
- Reaction score
- 1,552
This actually brought a smile on my face... something what is really hard today....
A young golfer is about to tee off at the first hole when an old chap carrying a bag of clubs calls out to him:"Sir, do you mind if I join you - my partner hasn't turned up."
The man welcomes the stranger over and the pair tee off. On their way down the fairway they strike up a conversation: "So what is it you do?" the young man asks his new golfing partner. "I'm a hitman,"replies the old boy, quite matter of factly. "You're joking!" laughs the younger man.
"I am not," insists the killer, reaching into his bag and pulling out a beautiful sniper rifle with a huge telescopic sight, "this here is my tool."
"Thats some telescopic sight," says the young man, "mind if I take a look - I should be able to see my house from here." The hitman doesn't mind and hands over the sight.
"Wow, I can see my house all right, this is fantastic," smiles the man, "I can see right in the window... there's my wife and... wait a minute, she naked - and thats my neighbour with her! Cow!"
Enraged, he turns to the hitman: "How much do you charge?" "It's a flat rate," replies the hitman, "a thousand pounds each time I pull the trigger."
The young man thinks about it for a moment, staring back at his house: "Right then, I want you to pop two people for me right now."
The hitman agrees, asking for confirmation of who the targets will be.
"First, you shoot my wife," says the man, "she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then my neighbour - a supposed friend - bit of a to55er, so just shoot his penis off and teach him a lesson."
The hitman shoulders the rifle and takes aim, standing perfectly still for several minutes. "Well... are you going to do it or not?" shouts the young man impatiently.
"Hang on a moment," says the hitman, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
A young golfer is about to tee off at the first hole when an old chap carrying a bag of clubs calls out to him:"Sir, do you mind if I join you - my partner hasn't turned up."
The man welcomes the stranger over and the pair tee off. On their way down the fairway they strike up a conversation: "So what is it you do?" the young man asks his new golfing partner. "I'm a hitman,"replies the old boy, quite matter of factly. "You're joking!" laughs the younger man.
"I am not," insists the killer, reaching into his bag and pulling out a beautiful sniper rifle with a huge telescopic sight, "this here is my tool."
"Thats some telescopic sight," says the young man, "mind if I take a look - I should be able to see my house from here." The hitman doesn't mind and hands over the sight.
"Wow, I can see my house all right, this is fantastic," smiles the man, "I can see right in the window... there's my wife and... wait a minute, she naked - and thats my neighbour with her! Cow!"
Enraged, he turns to the hitman: "How much do you charge?" "It's a flat rate," replies the hitman, "a thousand pounds each time I pull the trigger."
The young man thinks about it for a moment, staring back at his house: "Right then, I want you to pop two people for me right now."
The hitman agrees, asking for confirmation of who the targets will be.
"First, you shoot my wife," says the man, "she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then my neighbour - a supposed friend - bit of a to55er, so just shoot his penis off and teach him a lesson."
The hitman shoulders the rifle and takes aim, standing perfectly still for several minutes. "Well... are you going to do it or not?" shouts the young man impatiently.
"Hang on a moment," says the hitman, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
