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Jokiez v3

MentaL's Girlfriend
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1). An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office, and while there the doctor advised him that he needed to get a sperm count from the old man.

The doctor gave the man a clean jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day, the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

So the doctor asked what happened, and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. My wife tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with them out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door an d she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit. She even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "Dear God man, you asked your neighbor?"

Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."

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2). An Australian guy decides to travel around the Greek Islands. He walks into
a bar and Jill (the Australian Barmaid) takes his order a 4X(XXXX), and
notices his accent. Over the course of the night they get to know each
other quite well.

At the end of Jill's shift he asks her if she wants to come back to his
place and have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him she says no.
He then offers to pay her $200 for sex. Jill is travelling the world and
because she is short of funds she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again, orders a 4X(XXXX) and after showing her
plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with
him
again for $200. Jill remembers the night before and is only too happy to
agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in, orders a 4X(XXXX)
and sits in the corner. Jill thinks that may be she should pay him more
attention and may be she can then skank some more cash out of him again.

So she goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he's from in
Australia and he tells her Melbourne. "So am I... What suburb in
Melbourne?"

"Glen Iris" he replies

"That's amazing..." she says, "...so am I - what Street?"

"Cameo Street" he replies

"This is unbelievable..." she says, "... what number?"

He says "Number 20" and she is totally astonished.

"You are not going to believe this but I'm from Number 22 and my parents
still live there!"

"I know..." he says, "...your Father gave me $1,000 to give to you"

HE WHO DRINKS AUSTRALIAN - THINKS AUSTRALIAN!

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3). There was this 22-year old girl from Stretford vacationing in Tampa. However, as she walked along the beach eyeing the big-bosomed girls walking arm-in-arm with their boyfriends, she became distraught, for she had a rather insignificant pair of jugs. Suddenly, she spied a murky old bottle that had washed up on the beach, and for want of alternative amusement, picked it up. Poof! Out emerged a genie, who immediately offered to grant her any two wishes that she desired. "Then, give me two of the biggest tits in the whole, wide world", she moaned. Poof!! Poof!! Immediately there emerged before her eyes, David Beckham and Ryan Giggs

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thats that for now, v4 will be out soon :D
 
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wanna buy a toothbrush?



A man is looking in the classified ads for a job. He notices an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman and figured that couldn''t be such a bad job. So, he calls in, he goes in and they hire him. The next day, he heads out to a neighborhood to make some sales. Five hours later he comes home and says, "Man, I only sold one toothbrush. That''s not enough"

So the next day he goes to a richer neighborhood, thinking maybe those people would buy more toothbrushes. He ends up selling two toothbrushes. So he goes to his boss for advice and his boss says,
 
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