The Official Graele Thread

[Loregoreth]

Hello, as some of you may know I am currently working on a realm for RPG games I will be making in the future. This realm is known as Graele. Over the past few weeks I have been transforming ideas into written thoughts and in turn written thoughts into stories. So today I am proudly presenting the first piece of finalized literature belonging to Graele. With out further a due here it is!!!

Prelude

More is on the way, probably by tomorrow night.
Please feel free to post all kinds of feedback...

 

[Spiffa]

It seems interesting but you have to take the wording down when making something like this it is important to capture all elements of the story (And or idea) For example i will rewrite it ... i dont know who first wrote it but ..if this is what your putting yourself on the map with it needs to flow and be easy to read without many stops and repeats..

First off it feels redundant ... you repeat yourself twice here ( One will be able to fully understand what Graele was like. We have made it our purpose to turn the History of Graele into an easily read book, or set of books, so that someone much like yourself can be enlightened as to what Graele really was like.) You pretty much say the same thing ... main point is you repeat a lot its not so much how big the writing is but the point it gets across


Normal

What you are about to read is a string of letters, documents, manuscripts, books, records detailing Graele. Our goal is that by the end of this extensive unit of the history of Graele. One will be able to fully understand what Graele was like. We have made it our purpose to turn the History of Graele into an easily read book, or set of books, so that someone much like yourself can be enlightened as to what Graele really was like. We find it important that people living in Leole should know about their ancestry.

As for who we are, we are a group of lore masters chosen by Sylvreage to research about Graele and then compile a book about our findings. We are considered to be the best lore masters alive. There are 27 of us total...

Edited

What you are about to read is a collection of documents detailing Graele. Our goal is that by the end of this extensive collection of history. One will be able to fully understand what Graele was like. We have made it our purpose to turn the History of Graele into an easily read book, or set of books for future reference and education. We find it important that people living in Leole should know about their ancestry.

As for who we are, we are a group of lore masters chosen by Sylvreage to research about Graele and compile a book about our findings. We are considered to be the best lore masters alive. There are 27 of us total... (This should flow more)


(I may have horrible spelling and grammer but as a creative writer ..im fairly good just thought id give some tips to help out)

 

[Loregoreth]

Hmm, yeah your does flow smoother. I fixed some grammatical errors of your first paragraph and uploaded it. Thanks for the feedback.

 

[-Legend-]

Sounds cool, Wrong Section?

 

[Loregoreth]

Eh, I thought that at first too. However we don't have a Creative Writing forum.

 

[Brian May]

Good point!

We should petition for a "Literature" forum.

 

[Loregoreth]

Good point!

We should petition for a "Literature" forum.

/signed

*Update*
I have started writing a short story that takes place in Graele. It will be out soon hopefully.

 

[Loregoreth]

*update*
A story has been released...
You can read it here
Once again feedback is welcome.
Also we are planing to open a forum soon.

 

[Iron Maiden]

Good point!

We should petition for a "Literature" forum.

That...will most likely never happen. Most stuff that people feel the need to jot down and share with the rest of us...ends up here in the Outerworld. As far as I know the Outerworld is the best place for this thread.

 

[exclamatio]

aye thats true and theres far too little material to make a general "literacy" section active at all

 

[I Rule MU]

nice. good job.

 

[Loregoreth]

*update*
I have set up a forum for discussion about Graele and anything else. If you are interested in looking at it, feel free. It is located here.

In other updates I have done some more writing about Graele. I have also looking into some coding tutorials. Hopefully by 2008 I will have a demo working.

 

[Konrow]

Good point!

We should petition for a "Literature" forum.

tried. failed. no one respects written art anymore.

 

[Loregoreth]

Yeah, it is really sad the quality of literature seems to be decreasing...
Just compare LOTR and Harry Potter. They aren't even in the same class.