I hear you're the one to talk to about... Well...
Being condemned?
Here's my problem - I requested eternal damnation a few weeks ago and I still haven't received it. I payed a good price for this (my soul!) so I believe I have the right to lodge a complaint.
I've contacted Death's personal office, and he is behind me every step of the way, as is the Soul Sales Department.
Here is a copy of the letter I received from the Soul Sales Deparment:
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Dear RobC1907,
Thankyou for ordering our special offer eternal damnation package. This package does not expire and will be credited to your account immediately. Your eternal damnation package includes the following exciting features!
A two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment, situated in the First Circle of Hell.
Amazing views over the River Styx, with a free boat ride back to the land of the living every other sunday.
A free meal in the Halls of Hades, every day.
Free, backstage access to the upcoming Amy Winehouse concert! The Premature Death Department has her booked for next Tuesday.
And much, much more! You will be able to enjoy the full benefits of the eternal damnation package after one soul, human, is deducted from your account.
Thankyou!
Soul Sales Department,
First Circle,
Hell,
STN 666
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As per the entry requirements my soul has been taken, but the package has not been credited to my account. Is there anything you can do to help me?
Thankyou, RobC1907.
