- Joined
- Sep 10, 2003
- Messages
- 14,211
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It's getting worse every year.
Yesterday i wasn't feeling all to well, i have been trouble sleeping, and that night i had been up all night, and i was still abit sleepy, after we had breakfast i took a shower and my mom suggested to get some sleep before we went over to my oldest brother, so i did.
I woke up with my phone ringing, it was my mom asking where i was, we were going to my brothers at 3, it was 4:50 at that moment... apparantly she called me twice to wake up, but she knows very well that you should ignore that untill you actually see that person, like i said i didn't sleep all night, so i was very asleep.
So i get my clothes and all and i didn't feel well at all, but i still went, so i had to cycle abit to my brother, not far or anything, like 3km, but because it was cold and i wasn't feeling well it made me feel even more poop.
So i come at my brothers, and i asked if my brother if we could eat a little later so that i could recover abit and all, which wasn't possible and we were going to eat in 30 minutes.
Then a little later my brother says something about the food, so i ask him if he could tell me what we were getting (i knew parts but not everything yet) so that i could get him to keep a few things of my plate because i wasn't feeling well and i didn't want to eat to much, where as he then gives me alot of poop because i'm always trying to ruin everything (apparantly i got sick to annoy him...)
Luckily the rest of the evening went better.
When i got home i went to bed and slept to like 4:30 pm the next day (today), and we were closing to eating, we always make our own food 1 of the christmas days with 1 of those things with lots of pans etc, anyway so i go to get something to drink, and usually my mom buys me something good to drink (i don't like beer) but this year she got something i totally don't like, and we only had cola in the fridge (and i thought that was the only thing around as normally everything we got to drink is either in the fridge or at a place close to it, which there wasn't anything) which i also don't like, so i was pretty pissed off about that, when i got told there was 7up somewhere else, where we normally never have anything, so i go get it and overhear my mom saying something like "if he complains again them i'm gone" (from the table btw..) and i just had it, the last month or so all i get is bitching about everything, and i always get it, because my other brother who also lives here never says anything, so he never gets any crap, anyway i just walked away and stayed in my room the rest of the evening.
And well right now it's 1:39 am here, and i haven't ate anything for the past 24 hours, and i'm feeling like i want to kill someone.
All i know is that after this all i know that i want to get out of this house, and this is just not a thing that got in my head, i have had this for over a month now, and it's also not just to get away from some crap, it's also to get my life together, because when i'm here i just can't get anything done, i'm a totall trainwreck, and it's why i wanted to live with my dad, but my good luck caused it that i can't stay there.
Still i will go to my dads tomorrow, stay over for at least a little while, like a week, and i will see if i can stay there for a while, 1 of the biggest reasons why i couldn't live with him anymore was because of his gf (and ofcourse his idiocy of listening to her) and since then she has been taking more and more distance, and i believe they are only like together once a week for like a hour... you do the maths.
So i hope to stay with him for a while, get a job, and probably get into some youth thing to get my own place to live, it won't be pretty but at this rate the chances i end up killing myself is way bigger then that my life picks up.
Yesterday i wasn't feeling all to well, i have been trouble sleeping, and that night i had been up all night, and i was still abit sleepy, after we had breakfast i took a shower and my mom suggested to get some sleep before we went over to my oldest brother, so i did.
I woke up with my phone ringing, it was my mom asking where i was, we were going to my brothers at 3, it was 4:50 at that moment... apparantly she called me twice to wake up, but she knows very well that you should ignore that untill you actually see that person, like i said i didn't sleep all night, so i was very asleep.
So i get my clothes and all and i didn't feel well at all, but i still went, so i had to cycle abit to my brother, not far or anything, like 3km, but because it was cold and i wasn't feeling well it made me feel even more poop.
So i come at my brothers, and i asked if my brother if we could eat a little later so that i could recover abit and all, which wasn't possible and we were going to eat in 30 minutes.
Then a little later my brother says something about the food, so i ask him if he could tell me what we were getting (i knew parts but not everything yet) so that i could get him to keep a few things of my plate because i wasn't feeling well and i didn't want to eat to much, where as he then gives me alot of poop because i'm always trying to ruin everything (apparantly i got sick to annoy him...)
Luckily the rest of the evening went better.
When i got home i went to bed and slept to like 4:30 pm the next day (today), and we were closing to eating, we always make our own food 1 of the christmas days with 1 of those things with lots of pans etc, anyway so i go to get something to drink, and usually my mom buys me something good to drink (i don't like beer) but this year she got something i totally don't like, and we only had cola in the fridge (and i thought that was the only thing around as normally everything we got to drink is either in the fridge or at a place close to it, which there wasn't anything) which i also don't like, so i was pretty pissed off about that, when i got told there was 7up somewhere else, where we normally never have anything, so i go get it and overhear my mom saying something like "if he complains again them i'm gone" (from the table btw..) and i just had it, the last month or so all i get is bitching about everything, and i always get it, because my other brother who also lives here never says anything, so he never gets any crap, anyway i just walked away and stayed in my room the rest of the evening.
And well right now it's 1:39 am here, and i haven't ate anything for the past 24 hours, and i'm feeling like i want to kill someone.
All i know is that after this all i know that i want to get out of this house, and this is just not a thing that got in my head, i have had this for over a month now, and it's also not just to get away from some crap, it's also to get my life together, because when i'm here i just can't get anything done, i'm a totall trainwreck, and it's why i wanted to live with my dad, but my good luck caused it that i can't stay there.
Still i will go to my dads tomorrow, stay over for at least a little while, like a week, and i will see if i can stay there for a while, 1 of the biggest reasons why i couldn't live with him anymore was because of his gf (and ofcourse his idiocy of listening to her) and since then she has been taking more and more distance, and i believe they are only like together once a week for like a hour... you do the maths.
So i hope to stay with him for a while, get a job, and probably get into some youth thing to get my own place to live, it won't be pretty but at this rate the chances i end up killing myself is way bigger then that my life picks up.
