ROLF Craigslist Ads

[jM2.me]

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I am nearing towards my due date and I am miserable. My child is about 9 lbs now and I still have 2 weeks to go.
I was hoping that tonight's full moon will do the trick, but this child is as snug as a bug in my uterus.

I'm looking for someone who possesses Jedi powers to use their mind tricks on my child to convince him to come early. The sooner the better.

If you are a master in the way's of the Jedi please help me deliver this child! Many thanks and may the force be with you!

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Did you happen to lose your teeth while cavorting in the pool, or perhaps you took them out and put them poolside as you did laps and forgot to pick them back up when you were done? Well, they're waiting for you next to the POOL'S STAIRS where you DISGUSTINGLY LEFT THEM (unless you dropped them into the pool and some kids found them, thinking they were treasure...boy were they wrong).

Since there are so many old people in this complex, I have no idea whose dentures these are...I'm not about to touch them except to kick them out onto the street (or maybe back into the deep end of the pool) if they're still there tomorrow. GROSS. GROSS. GROSS. Come on people, this is just N-A-S-T-Y.

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We are looking to replace the government of Egypt. Please submit your resume for this exciting opportunity to serve under our great leader Mubarak!

Required Skills:
- Restoring order
- Talent for hollow platitudes and self deception
- Willing to wear blinders at all times
- Ability to swiftly say the word "yes" to any and all requests
- Experience handing tear gas launchers and shotguns

Salary and compensation contingent on experience and brown nosing. All new hires are given free government issue blinders!

Interviewees are recommended to come prepared for the interview by wearing running shoes and fire resistant clothing� just in case.

 

[TimeBomb]

Re: [Text]ROLF Craigslist Ads

Hehe, funny/odd stuff.

Oh, and I didn't know floors could laugh.

 

[Bender]

Re: [Text]ROLF Craigslist Ads

funny man

 

[Caustik]

Re: [Text]ROLF Craigslist Ads

They got funnier as you went down the list, nice one xD

 

[rebora2007]

Re: [Text]ROLF Craigslist Ads

Where this world at xD