[Txt]Why I fired my Secretary

[NoOxygen]

Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!",
and possibly have a small present for me.


As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.


I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!"


We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quite bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We?"

I responded, "I guess not".
What do you have in mind?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."


After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,

after a couple of minutes,

she came out carrying a huge
birthday cake .....
Followed by my wife,
my kids, and dozens of my friends
and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".





And I just sat there...







On the couch...







Naked.

 

[wounded]

LoL...hahaahaha would've done the same thing...

 

[BladeX]

LMAO....that will be pure embarassing ...

 

[Nuklear]

lmao, really embarrassing moment... xD

 

[Smo]

Ouch.

 

[The_Gatekeeper_]

good one oxy, though a tad old.

 

[Liselotte]

haha nice one

 

[Vendaku~Metal]

LOL - Ok, that was just hilarious. Owned though.

 

[Mara]

LOL
Nice One...

 

[metalkobra]

Rofl

 

[deadly2003]

heh that one made me laugh lol

 

[NoOxygen]

True story, I was happy.
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a
year, and so we decided to get married.
My parents helped us in every way,
my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore
tight mini skirts and low cut blouses.
She would regularly bend down when
near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be
married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said,
"I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with
it just come up and get me." I was stunned.
I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house.
I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and
said,
"We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We
couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the
family."

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

This is another one, heard this one like 4 years ago, still good tho.

 

[BladeX]

yeah this one is still good tho it was like quite old ..

 

[Rishwin]

both old and reposts, though still good

 

[Kurt]

made me giggle ^.^, .

 

[InZan3]

lol i like both of them !

 

[[hidden]]

hahaha ! liked em both too ^^

 

[Mara]

Second One Heard It But Wasnt The Sister But Her Mum.

 

[DaCheat]

hahaha that first one is awesome...

 

[Unleashed Hell]

LoL XD the guy got owned