The European Union commissioners have announced that
agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
European
communications, rather than German, which was the
other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government
conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish
(Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with
joy. Also, the
hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this
klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will
make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations
of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in
ze forst place....
I think this one is brilliant myself XD
p.s. i almoust forgot credits for Trics from haste network
agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
European
communications, rather than German, which was the
other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government
conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish
(Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with
joy. Also, the
hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this
klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will
make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing
"th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations
of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in
ze forst place....
I think this one is brilliant myself XD
p.s. i almoust forgot credits for Trics from haste network