Ask Raff!

[JC/Raiden]

Hey Raff<3..

I got a question.

You and me ain't nothin but mammals,
you wanna do it like they do on the discovery channel?

Yes...yes I do darlin <3

PM me your details and I'll be with ya faster then 1st Class travel

yo raffinator

you were right about that other guy

 

[ChewBecca]

Yes...yes I do darlin <3

PM me your details and I'll be with ya faster then 1st Class travel



Well in all honesty this type of question greatly depends on your confidence. Because I could give you advice but if your to Shy etc to go through with what I say then it's no help to you at all really.

So anyways basically your telling me you get over excited with approaching people your wanting to try get somewhere with. The best thing you can really ever do is start with the Basics properly introduce your self and break the ice with common questions. Such as what you studying in College, where is he from. Ask about his Polish background because your Polish to so you can relate to him easily like that. Ask about Hobbies & Interests etc.

Be yourself around him while your talking, because it's you he needs to get to know not some act you've decided to portray because your unsure how to speak to him. And if you find that your both getting along nicely in time then try asking for his number.

And about that jerk, I'm sorry again to hear about him. When it comes to situations like those I get no joy at all with being right.

ive already got his number

but yeah im not from poland raff mate ;P

 

[xblackcat]

Erm in all honesty unless your a friend of his (from reading what you've said I doubt it) then you've no right to really interfere with his Schooling. Just ignore the guy, from what I can see he's just very Enthusiastic about his Education which you can't knock him for. Perhaps he does have some annoying characteristics but his heart is in the right place from what it looks like. So personally I say good on him.

Yea i reread what i wrote, and i have to admit. It sounded like a real d bag thing to say.

 

[joorohoo]

Raff I got a big question

there is a girl I like really hard but I am scared to ask her out because of my last relationship what must I do?

 

[kuribohgx]

Hey raff! Her anger is gone and now we are happy together again =)
I can't thank you enough.

 

[Grasna]

Hey Raffie<3
Remember the whole thing with the mom and the religion?
Well we had a talk and she finally figured out that im not christian but she chose to ignore this fact!
She acts like the talk never happened and she never knew that i wasnt a christian!
This is very frustrating. What do i do now .

 

[Junkers]

Here's one for you Riff Raff...

My English teacher is a useless git. He leaves us with classwork but doesn't tell us how we're supposed to do it, structure it or what to include in it. In the two and a half year I've had him as a teacher me and a few friends feel we have learned nothing from him and I am now shitting myself because I fear I'm going to fail my Preliminary exams in just over a week's time. I haven't a clue what to do, lend me a hand pl0x

 

[c4cadvisor]

i have a problem, im trying to quit my addiction to the crap mmorpg mu online, since ive already completed my work for it, im trying to quit it. I havent got a clue on how to stop even thinking about mu online, and my techniques for clearing my mind of trash like it doesnt work. Need help, else I'll be lost forever.

 

[JC/Raiden]

ive already got his number

but yeah im not from poland raff mate ;P

I didn't say you was. I said you've got a Polish background you can relate to.

Raff I got a big question

there is a girl I like really hard but I am scared to ask her out because of my last relationship what must I do?

Aha I had this exact same problem not to long ago actually, and I felt it very difficult to over come. Because basically I had to crush my own fears. The girl I'm with at the moment is incredibly beautiful, she's very sweet and especially very sensitive. But I wouldn't change her for nothing.

Before we got together though I spent almost if not 2months just struggling with myself, fighting against my own fears because I didn't know what to do. Even though I knew she wasn't like so many others I've been with I still had the crippling fear of giving my current girlfriend a chance.

And after so much thought I eventually came to realize that a true test of character is battling those Demons I had within. Because I also came to realize that I've been submitting, letting my past fears from my past experiences start to take over me and control me.

Once I came to all of this realization I knew it was time to fight back and regain control of my own mind, to not let my fears be the one to make my decisions for me. And the first decision I made was to give this innocent girl a chance, and I did.

I like to believe that there's no better advice around, then advice given by people relating to there own personal experiences. So I hope I've been of some help my friend.

Hey raff! Her anger is gone and now we are happy together again =)
I can't thank you enough.

That's fantastic mate, I'm very happy for you. And it's my pleasure no worries .

Hey Raffie<3
Remember the whole thing with the mom and the religion?
Well we had a talk and she finally figured out that im not christian but she chose to ignore this fact!
She acts like the talk never happened and she never knew that i wasnt a christian!
This is very frustrating. What do i do now .

Unfortunately hun in regards to your Mother there isn't anything else you can do. Unless your Mother is choosing to live in denial with what you've told her, then she will now realize how you feel about this Religion that she's wanting you to follow so badly.

So having said that, even if your Mother is choosing to blank everything you've said. At least she can't say she's unaware of the way you feel so go about living your life how your wanting to live it. And if she tries to stop you make it clear to your Mother that she's knows very well how you feel about her trying to force feed you her Religion, and walk away.

After thinking about your situation carefully since we've spoke about this alot. To me it seems that your truly never gonna escape this problem with your Mother until you become independent and not live in the same house hold. So except for what I've told you in this post, you've done everything you can now hun.

xx

Here's one for you Riff Raff...

My English teacher is a useless git. He leaves us with classwork but doesn't tell us how we're supposed to do it, structure it or what to include in it. In the two and a half year I've had him as a teacher me and a few friends feel we have learned nothing from him and I am now shitting myself because I fear I'm going to fail my Preliminary exams in just over a week's time. I haven't a clue what to do, lend me a hand pl0x

2 and a half years Laz ? I'm surprised you haven't tried to do something before now especially since it's so close to your exams. If what you had said about your English teacher is 100% true then I guess approaching him would be pretty pointless. And because your so close to starting your exams anyways there's not much you can do about it so...

What you can do is first speak to your school Headmaster and tell him exactly how you feel, explain to him what you've explained to me. But having said that your Headmaster can't rewind time, so your gonna have to pick up some English Textbooks and do your fair share of revision for what your needing to know for your upcoming exams.

i have a problem, im trying to quit my addiction to the crap mmorpg mu online, since ive already completed my work for it, im trying to quit it. I havent got a clue on how to stop even thinking about mu online, and my techniques for clearing my mind of trash like it doesnt work. Need help, else I'll be lost forever.

I understand how you feel. I use to have a bad addiction for Legend of Mir2, once upon a time it use to occupy 90% of my time. And that other 10% is just sleeping & eating. My life at that time if you hadn't already guessed was utter shite, I wasn't living a life worth living, I wasn't part of society, I wasn't employed, I barely felt Human. My addiction was literally running my life for me which put me in to depression.

One day though I realized that things had to change for me I didn't have a say in the matter, unless I wanted to be a nobody for the rest of my life things had to start changing. So I stopped playing Legend of Mir2 full time and only played it when I thought I deserved to, when I thought I deserved to chill for a few hours and relax.

I placed my mind on other things the most important being finding a good Career, one which my parents would be proud of me for. I spent my other energies on Weight Training and doing plenty of CV exercise. And just generally seeing my friends again which I rarely saw anymore from abandoning them for a stupid game. I turned my entire life around and from where I stand at this point of my life I've never been happier.

You've first gotta want to stop because thinking about it doesn't make progress it just leaves you dwelling on the problem you have. Think about this as a test of Will, are you wanting to be bested, controlled by a Online Game ? Or are you wanting to take control of your own life and start living how you want to live ?
,
Addictions like these suck your mental strength dry if you let your self be controlled. Stand up, get serious and prove to your self that the only thing that's going to control your life and has any right to is nobody other then your self.

 

[ChewBecca]

I didn't say you was. I said you've got a Polish background you can relate to.

oh
right
i got confused ;P

 

[kuribohgx]

My gf dumped me yesterday because she said she prefers being single because she gets to flirt with guys(slut). Its not that big of a deal because I didn't know her long.

 

[Youngy]

Hey man, I have a slight problem at the moment.

Basically I'm with a girl who i was with for just over a year and a half, then we had a one month split and now we've been back together for a month or two.
The first time i was with her (for the year and a half), her stepdad hated me since day one. I wouldn't really mind except it meant I wasn't allowed into her house if he was there which sucked. But anyway, her mum liked me which was good but ever since my girlfriend moved in with me for roughly five months, her mum has hated me too. This is for several reasons i think, one is that i took her daughter away from her, another is that while she was living with me i was addicted to gaming so i was basically a lazy slob who did nothing apart from be late for work, eat, game and sleep. Also when i split up with her, she was pretty hurt so her mum hated me for that too.
I split up with her because she was a very paranoid girl and she used to constantly make comments about me and girls. But after a month, me and her both had changed. She had recieved councelling for her paranoia and i had managed to get myself off of my games console 24/7 because it was ruining my life. So we decided to give things another go except, this is the problem now, her mum wants us to split up and she's trying everything she can to split us up. It angers me because she knows that i make her daughter happy but she doesn't want to accept that i've changed since before. She even tried booking a flight to america for her behind her back so she could go and live with family in america! All just to get her away from me.

Its almost like she doesn't WANT her daughter to be happy...

And her stepdad's just a prick, he says that he doesn't like me because i've never made an effort with him or his family. This is just fucking stupid because he wouldn't allow me to be in the house while he was there! So how am i supposed to make a fucking effort? Argh it pisses me off.

 

[xblackcat]

Mind if i pm you one?

 

[NoOxygen]

I have a question aswell.

I feel like my relationship, which is around an year old, is getting to the phase where passion is slowly heading to the backround and I constantly worry myself with thoughts like - Am I boring her? How can I make her smile more? How can I suprise her? etc.


How can I get rid of constantly worrying about things that aren't true?
Because I know we both love each-other madly and would die for one-another.

 

[JC/Raiden]

Sorry I've not really been around this week, work has taken it out of me.

My gf dumped me yesterday because she said she prefers being single because she gets to flirt with guys(slut). Its not that big of a deal because I didn't know her long.

It's great to know your looking at it that way, because if she really feels like that the chances are she'd of only really hurt you by possibly cheating on you. So the fact that things ended fairly early between you both in this situation is a good thing. And besides if she really is like that then she ain't any good for you, she's no good for anyone in all honesty except for a one night stand.

Hey man, I have a slight problem at the moment.

Basically I'm with a girl who i was with for just over a year and a half, then we had a one month split and now we've been back together for a month or two.
The first time i was with her (for the year and a half), her stepdad hated me since day one. I wouldn't really mind except it meant I wasn't allowed into her house if he was there which sucked. But anyway, her mum liked me which was good but ever since my girlfriend moved in with me for roughly five months, her mum has hated me too. This is for several reasons i think, one is that i took her daughter away from her, another is that while she was living with me i was addicted to gaming so i was basically a lazy slob who did nothing apart from be late for work, eat, game and sleep. Also when i split up with her, she was pretty hurt so her mum hated me for that too.
I split up with her because she was a very paranoid girl and she used to constantly make comments about me and girls. But after a month, me and her both had changed. She had recieved councelling for her paranoia and i had managed to get myself off of my games console 24/7 because it was ruining my life. So we decided to give things another go except, this is the problem now, her mum wants us to split up and she's trying everything she can to split us up. It angers me because she knows that i make her daughter happy but she doesn't want to accept that i've changed since before. She even tried booking a flight to america for her behind her back so she could go and live with family in america! All just to get her away from me.

Its almost like she doesn't WANT her daughter to be happy...

And her stepdad's just a prick, he says that he doesn't like me because i've never made an effort with him or his family. This is just fucking stupid because he wouldn't allow me to be in the house while he was there! So how am i supposed to make a fucking effort? Argh it pisses me off.

There's 3 important attributes to be looked at here. Loyalty, Trust & (proberly the most important) Awareness.

The Loyalty & Trust part for one another I'm sure speaks for it self so I shouldn't need to go explaining that part, but if you'd like me to then just quote me to let me know. As for the Awareness part though...you say your girlfriends parents is trying everything possible to split you both up. Well as long as your girlfriend knows what her own parents are capable of, and is on to the fact that there doing anything possible to split you both up then you don't need to worry about them at all.

Sure it won't stop them from trying, but as I said as long as your girlfriend is fully aware that her parents are gonna pull anything out of the hat to split you both up you can relax abit.

I'm the type that believes everybody deserves the right to a 2nd chance to prove they can change. If I was your girlfriends parents and I knew exactly what you was like when you was first going out with your girlfriend then I wouldn't have been to keen on you either. But you've made a big change since then and deserve a chance to shine to show what kinda guy you are and that you'll look after your girlfriend properly.

Even after saying all this though lets say you both do manage to go the distance and have a future together, to know that your girlfriends parents hate you is no good at all. And no doubt it must pain your girlfriend to also know this. You say that your girlfriend's Father said that you've never made the effort with them etc, which you've said is impossible because he never let you in the house to begin with...

It's no secret that things at the moment are really bad, so since things are in the state as they are at the moment. Trying anything just to try an improve things is always a step up. So if I was you I'd have a word with your girlfriend an try to "arrange a meeting" with your girlfriend and her parents to try and resolve all this in a civil diplomatic tounge. I do believe that this is the best idea because no doubt all 4 of you will have alot to get off your chests.

And try to remember how difficult all this must be for your girlfriend as she's the one that's in the middle of all this. She's the one that's torn between her boyfriend and her parents. You must bring peace to this situation.

Mind if i pm you one?

Sure go ahead.

I have a question aswell.

I feel like my relationship, which is around an year old, is getting to the phase where passion is slowly heading to the backround and I constantly worry myself with thoughts like - Am I boring her? How can I make her smile more? How can I suprise her? etc.


How can I get rid of constantly worrying about things that aren't true?
Because I know we both love each-other madly and would die for one-another.

What your feeling at the moment is normal trust me. What you've described is just how a long lasted relationship goes. Well except for when you say "passion is slowly dieing out". I guess I can agree to Passion not being as hot or as on fire as it usually is when you first start dating, and with generally having sex every night etc. But the Passion between you both should never be dieing out.

At the start of a relationship it's all fun, fresh & exciting. But once all that fades your left with trust, intermercy & the love you should by then have for one another, which is more important. And your both obviously in love in one another with what you've just said.

The best piece of advice I can give you mate is try to relax, because all of this is doing you no good at all. Your thinking of ways to surprise your girlfriend and just over all generally make her happier right ? Well you'd proberly beable to think better if you put your foot down on your worries and tried to relax.

Christmas is just around the corner, you couldn't ask for a better opportunity to do something nice for your girlfriend. And try to remember you don't need to break the bank to do it either. A genuine girl prefers the thought that's been put in to the surprise rather then the money spent on it. So as long as it has meaning, and sends out the message that you truly love her that's all you need to concentrate on.

But remember like I said, you need to free your mind of these worries that you have so you can put your mind in to gear without distraction.

 

[Youngy]

There's 3 important attributes to be looked at here. Loyalty, Trust & (proberly the most important) Awareness.

The Loyalty & Trust part for one another I'm sure speaks for it self so I shouldn't need to go explaining that part, but if you'd like me to then just quote me to let me know. As for the Awareness part though...you say your girlfriends parents is trying everything possible to split you both up. Well as long as your girlfriend knows what her own parents are capable of, and is on to the fact that there doing anything possible to split you both up then you don't need to worry about them at all.

Sure it won't stop them from trying, but as I said as long as your girlfriend is fully aware that her parents are gonna pull anything out of the hat to split you both up you can relax abit.

I'm the type that believes everybody deserves the right to a 2nd chance to prove they can change. If I was your girlfriends parents and I knew exactly what you was like when you was first going out with your girlfriend then I wouldn't have been to keen on you either. But you've made a big change since then and deserve a chance to shine to show what kinda guy you are and that you'll look after your girlfriend properly.

Even after saying all this though lets say you both do manage to go the distance and have a future together, to know that your girlfriends parents hate you is no good at all. And no doubt it must pain your girlfriend to also know this. You say that your girlfriend's Father said that you've never made the effort with them etc, which you've said is impossible because he never let you in the house to begin with...

It's no secret that things at the moment are really bad, so since things are in the state as they are at the moment. Trying anything just to try an improve things is always a step up. So if I was you I'd have a word with your girlfriend an try to "arrange a meeting" with your girlfriend and her parents to try and resolve all this in a civil diplomatic tounge. I do believe that this is the best idea because no doubt all 4 of you will have alot to get off your chests.

And try to remember how difficult all this must be for your girlfriend as she's the one that's in the middle of all this. She's the one that's torn between her boyfriend and her parents. You must bring peace to this situation.

Well, my girlfriend tried asking them if we could all sit down and talk through things and they basically refused because they don't want to see my face, they don't want to know me and they don't want anything to do with me. In my opinion, they're actually acting really immaturely!
I feel there's nothing that I can do to change how they think about me at the moment and only time will help (I hope).
But it's really fucking me off because the other day, her mum gave her an ultimatum. She said it's either me or him and she chose me, so her mum said you have until Monday to leave the house. The only reason that she's not out of the house by now is because her family from America came over to visit and her mum brought me up in conversation, they had a go at her so she changed her mind about chucking her out (by the way, the 'family' from America aren't actually her family, they're my girlfriend's godparents so they're treated as family).
On a good note, her 'godfamily' really like me and they asked me and my girlfriend to be godparents to their son lol. They even bought me a christmas present and brought it over f rom America! I just wish her actual parents had the same attitude.

 

[JC/Raiden]

Well, my girlfriend tried asking them if we could all sit down and talk through things and they basically refused because they don't want to see my face, they don't want to know me and they don't want anything to do with me. In my opinion, they're actually acting really immaturely!
I feel there's nothing that I can do to change how they think about me at the moment and only time will help (I hope).
But it's really fucking me off because the other day, her mum gave her an ultimatum. She said it's either me or him and she chose me, so her mum said you have until Monday to leave the house. The only reason that she's not out of the house by now is because her family from America came over to visit and her mum brought me up in conversation, they had a go at her so she changed her mind about chucking her out (by the way, the 'family' from America aren't actually her family, they're my girlfriend's godparents so they're treated as family).
On a good note, her 'godfamily' really like me and they asked me and my girlfriend to be godparents to their son lol. They even bought me a christmas present and brought it over f rom America! I just wish her actual parents had the same attitude.

Well you've done all you can mate, you can't ask anything more of your self then that. Your girlfriends parents are obviously set in there ways so there's nothing further more you can do about this situation. At least you can always count on your girlfriends loyalty to you I think the example you gave me proves that without a shadow of a doubt.

It's nice to know not everybody is against you, it must feel pretty refreshing but like you said at the same time it would be nice if her own parents accepted you as well.

I do wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck in the future anyways, you both seem to be a very solid couple that's willing to battle through any situation even without your girlfriends "blessing". Take care mate.

 

[xblackcat]

Hey raff

My parents are very old fashioned and don't like to do anything online i.e. shopping. How can i explain to them that internet shopping is secure and nothing to worry about without having to say everyone is doing it? I've tried to explain to them the pay pal policy and how secure it is.

 

[theninjaway]

Raffachu, I choose you!
SO, at school, this guys has been taking the piss out of me because I sit out a football game because of a sprained ankle, and has started calling me Crossed-Over (as in basketball, broken ankle?) and I'm ready to punch the **** outta him. So today when I was playing basketball, I went for a layup but landed awkwardly on the ankle and just fell over on the floor. So he starts to shout **** from the sideline and I was like "Fock you man" on the way to the bench. I have a feeling he's gonna pester me when I see him again so, HALP!

 

[JC/Raiden]

Hey raff

My parents are very old fashioned and don't like to do anything online i.e. shopping. How can i explain to them that internet shopping is secure and nothing to worry about without having to say everyone is doing it? I've tried to explain to them the pay pal policy and how secure it is.

There's only so far you can go with explanation really, because the older generation (are parents) grew up without PC's anyway so your more then likely just confusing them. Your better off asking them to sit down with you while you use the internet and show them just how simple it is.

Raffachu, I choose you!
SO, at school, this guys has been taking the piss out of me because I sit out a football game because of a sprained ankle, and has started calling me Crossed-Over (as in basketball, broken ankle?) and I'm ready to punch the **** outta him. So today when I was playing basketball, I went for a layup but landed awkwardly on the ankle and just fell over on the floor. So he starts to shout **** from the sideline and I was like "Fock you man" on the way to the bench. I have a feeling he's gonna pester me when I see him again so, HALP!

It's just one guy man, just simply ignore him. He's obviously goating you for a reaction each time he opens his mouth so just don't give him that pleasure.

Sport is all about competition so you've got to expect stuff like this as it's very common, just laugh along and leave it as that. Don't turn a mole hill in to a mountain that's the best piece of advice I can give you.